ThDiary`

2012-02-07T23:14:00.003+08:00

At times, we say hurtful words to each other.
Especially when we get mad, sad, upset, fucked up and etc.
Sometimes we mean it, sometimes we don't.
But the main thing is that we forgive and forget.

Unfortunately for me, sorry, I can't do both.

If I did do both, then wow I have a really big heart(at that point of time), which is unusual of me, which wouldn't even happen.

The picture above is a perfect description of how everyone's status(except single) are made.

But the most important thing out of that picture is Perfection, which includes Love, Sex & Friendship.

A couple should originally start out as friends.

Then moving to closer than friends.

Why friends? Can't be a couple straight since both of us have feelings for each other?

Don't rush into a relationship so fast.

Learn how your crush's character is like.

Is he/she picky?

Is he/she polite?

Is he/she materialistic?

Is he/she a romantic person?

Is he/she bad tempered?

Is he/she jealous easily?

Does he/she get angry easily? If yes, what is it that he/she is sensitive about?

Outgoing? Nice? Friendly? Sociable?

Is he/she really what I want?

Then know more about his/her activities.

Does he/she spends more of his/her time at home or outside?

What is he/she doing now?(In terms of studying/ in army/ working)

Does he/she spend a lot of time with his/her friends?

Then ask yourself: Do you need your partner to spend a lot of time with you? Or do you prefer more freedom?

What are his/her plans in the future?

How are his/her friends like? Can I get along with them?

What are his/her habits? Does she smoke? Drink?

Does he/she dress properly? Short skirts? Sloppy outfits? Cleavage-showing? Slutty? Makeup? Messy hair?

How does he/she treat his/her friends? Can he/she get along well with my friends?

(Hint: Their Facebook profiles can tell you a lot of things. The power of technologies.)

Got all those answers above? Awesome, now keep them in mind.

Being in a relationship with/ liking someone doesn't mean that you have to change yourself for him/her.

If he/she doesn't like something, doesn't mean you can't love it.

For example, for me, I love dogs. If my boyfriend doesn't like it, doesn't mean I can't rear a dog or he must learn to love one too.

Compromise is a must. For example, if he comes to my home, I would have to lock my dog in his cage for that short while. If I wanna go to a dog show, he would have to let me go. If he goes along with me, then its a bonus.

Its great to compromise, yes, but there are times whereby one needs to feel like themselves.

So anything that needs to be compromised must not feel pressured to the person.

If they are willing to compromise without any grudges/complaints, then it can be compromised.

At times, let your partner do whatever they wanna do.

Before they knew you, they are always doing the things they wanted to do and they are comfortable with it.

One always feel comfortable when they are themselves.

Being in a relationship should never hinder one from themselves.

Its like, being in a relationship is a bonus, other than being yourself.

It means that if your partner were to lose you now, other than suffering from a heartbreak and one more person to talk/rely on, you both should not lose anything else.

For example, the time for yourself; gym time/time to relax/using the computer and etc. Things that you normally do.

So if you can't accept him/her character or habits being like how you think the answers would be, and you are certain that he/she can't change that habit, then no, give up, cause you won't acquire happiness in it.

Because if you're just gonna go for it and let's say you two are in a relationship right now, you're just gonna demand from each other how you want him/her to be like.

But if you two are already in a relationship and he/she feels that its a part of her and he/she's hard to compromise, then give some time for the person to learn.

If you can totally accept him/her for who they are, then its an awesome thing.

Because he/she is gonna feel super duper comfortable being themselves with you rather than thinking "Oh he/she wouldn't like it if I were to do this.. So I shouldn't even though I really like it".

That's totally changing themselves to be the perfect person you want your partner to be.

And obviously it's not gonna be healthy for the relationship.

It's gonna be a real problem if your partner is not comfortable with you at all.

Now the next thing: priority, acceptance, sense of security, trust, display of affection(not in wrong places please), appreciation, give & take, admitting mistakes, quality time and friends.

The first 9 qualities are obvious. No need to explain.

But when I state "friends", I don't mean spending time with your partner's friends.

That's important as well but not what I meant.

What I meant was, sometimes you have to talk to your partner as if they are still your friends instead of talking like a couple.

Remember, your partner should be an additional person who is supposed to be extra close to you.

It's like a super duper close friend. Closer than your close close close close close close friend.

Not only close, but you can rely and depend on him/her at times, someone whom you enjoy spending your extra time on weekends with, someone whom you know you can trust, someone who will hold you when you breakdown and etc.

It's really like a friend but with extra "functions" than normal friends.

Whereby you can call him/her and still talk about how your day was and bitch about a certain thing/person (like a normal friend) but at the same time when you two walk together you can hold his/her hands and do romantic stuffs to show your affection for him/her.

Not every phone call has to be cheesy and mushy stuffs.

Next, the will to not say break up.

For me, I won't initiate break up no matter what.

Even if I feel that I don't deserve my boyfriend, even if we argue until the stage whereby he will ask for a break up, I won't give up.

I will try my best to save it.

Unfortunately for me, my boyfriend is the type that says break up easily.

But also fortunately for me, I don't give up easily.

If both parties say break up easily..........

Now you wonder why relationships won't last.

Lastly, marriage.

If you are sure that no one else can go through all the things that you've gone through with your partner over the years and no one else is gonna be like your partner(& for me must be at least together for a minimum of 5 years),then TA-DA!

I think you're ready for marriage LOL.

That's how I think a real relationship should be like.

Or rather, that's my ideal relationship.

P.S: The above content is purely based my own thinking.

It does not mean that every single relationship should be like that, or any relationship not like the above is wrong.

Now let's snap back to reality.

I don't think I have did all of the above that I've said.

I'm not a perfect girl and no one is perfect anyway.

There IS NO perfect relationship and honestly even though I said all those things above, when a problem arises in my relationship, I deal with it with my honest feelings and not following how it is above.

And honestly I think everyone does that anyway.

Sigh.

Nvm.

I don't even know what I just wrote.

Zz.

Nvm.

Bye.

2012-02-06T12:43:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone. :D
This is my 590th post!
Lol random. Hehe.
Recently I'm a happy girl.

Actually I have nothing to blog about lol.
Yesterday, Weipeng, his gf, and Frazer suddenly popped up at my house at like 7pm.
Ahaahha.
They came to bai nian.
Then my mom asked if they wanna visit my new house.
So we did.
Then they went home after that lol.
Thennnnn.
Relationship wise, everything is going back to normal(or even better).
Which is a very good thing :)

Oh ya, I wanna go to BEAST'S EVENT ON 3RD MARCH :D :D
But tickets so expensive...................... =.=
Ok la see how bah. Got money then go.
No money don't go. Simple. Lol.

Now I feel hungry..
Which reminds me to ask my boyf whether he wanna go eat some food with me this weekend with groupon vouchers(?).
Big O Cafe: "$20 for $40 Worth of Western Cuisine at Big O Cafe & Restaurant in 2 Locations"!
Like a nice only. Save $20 per person sia.
I'm so hungry now.. Hahaha.
But my boss is here in the office right now and I don't dare to go buy food lol.
Cause if I go buy, then when I come back, there will be smoke smell in the office.
Then I will also have to eat lunch together with my colleagues(& with the smoke smell).
Anyway I haven't even think of what to eat yet LOL.

Aiyo being a human being is soooooooooooo troublesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
ROARRRR. Lol.
Ok bored :3
BYEEEEEEEEEEEE :)

2012-02-01T15:55:00.002+08:00

Hihi people :)
This is the first post that I'm writing while I'm at my new house in potong pasir :)
Its been nearly two weeks before I wrote a proper entry.
Lol.
Recently the road in my love life is not very stable.
But no worries, we've figured the problem out. :)

And as usual, I'm very tired.
I don't know why, maybe I get tired easily lolol.
Anyway, I'm busy moving house and stuffs.
After all the renovation works comes buying furnitures, applying for cable tv, internet modems, phone lines, moving of stuffs, decorating the house and etc.
Because both my parents are working and only one of them have their own schedules, I have to help.
My mom is an 8-5 staff but my dad isn't.
So often, I go with him to my new house to wait for people to send furnitures, come up and do the modems, phone lines, cable tvs, renovation works, moving of stuffs and etc.
Even when its 8pm at night, we still move some of our stuffs to the new house.
Cause we have too many stuffs that we want to do it slowly, a bit by a bit.
I have been quite busy these few weeks that I rarely get to see my friends even.
I feel kinda bad and sad at the same time.
Emotional max.. LOL.
Anyway, school is almost over, another week for me to go and I'm done with poly.
Thinking about Uni, its even worse.
I know my results can't get me into the courses I want.
Even if it could, I'm worried that I can't handle the stress there.
I heard that in Uni, everyone study on their own.
For me, I'm a very lazy girl and when it comes to studying, if I don't listen in class, I won't be able to understand anything at all.
Much less to studying on my own.. Lol.
But still, its something that everyone has to go through, right. :)
So.. I guess I'll just let nature take its own course..

Alrighty, gonna go off now :)
Bye!

2012-01-25T22:21:00.001+08:00

Why can't people just accept others for who they are instead of changing them? Like for example when people say "Oh he/she is like that one. He/she don't like it, it's just his/her character." I feel that the person saying that has fully accepted the other person's character. Instead of saying "hmm I don't think he/she should do that. He/she should have (done something) then it will be correct." to me, that's judging and trying to change someone already. Why are human beings so confusing & complicating?! Arghhhhh!!

2012-01-17T14:43:00.005+08:00

Hiiiiiiiii~~ :D
Its been a long time since I've updated my blog, AGAIN.
Recently I'm soooo busy with house moving and etc that my entire body is so shag.
And tired.
Super tired.
My eyes are like sooo damn swollen :(
Think I just need a good rest.
Its only gonna be 4 more weeks till the end of my internship! :D YAY.
After that I'm going back to grooming.
Which I supposed would be very tiring, frustrating but happy at the same time :)
Why?
I'd be tired because I'll be standing most of the time, bathing the dogs, carrying them while shaving, cutting her nails and etc.
I'd be frustrated because I'll get to see what kind of owners are there when they bring their dogs for grooming.
But I'll be happy to be playing with dogs the whole day. HEHEEEEE! :D
Hahaha okay I'm crazyyyy.

Hmm. Recently I realised that there are a lot of people encountering problems in their relationship.
Come on people, its gonna be 14th Feb soon!! :)
To me, I think Valentine's Day is a special day.
Not only for couples, but for everyone. It can be a day used for you to show your love to anyone, including your friends and family.
For couples, everyday should be like Valentine's Day. You don't require a special day to show your love to your partner.
For people who have crushes, you can use this day to give you some courage to confess to the person you like.
For singles, you still can express your love to family members and friends.
Am I right?! :D Hell yeah! LOL.
Anywayz.
Since I'm already on the topic about relationships, let's talk a bit more about them.
But first, *DISCLAIMER: Every thing I'm gonna write after this sentence are only my thoughts and opinions. You are welcomed to state your own and feel free to disagree with me.* K let's go!
Well to me, I think the most important thing in a relationship is communication.
Without communication, how would you know what works and what doesn't?
Would you know if your partner would like flowers? Would you know if your partner would like roses?
Things like that.
There are always questions and thoughts to be clarified.
You can never assume anything.
Like you can never assume that if your partner likes flowers, it doesn't mean she'll like roses.
So if you don't know anything, ask. Use your mouth, don't waste it.(LOL).
But in order to plan a surprise for someone PERFECTLY, you have to really understand that person a lot.
If not, do it the cheapskate way; use all the information that you have before to plan the surprise.
Like for example if you already know that she likes tulips but she doesn't eat cake, don't include cake in the surprise. Instead, do something using the info you have - She likes tulips. You can still include the cake, but she won't eat it, but still, more plus points for planning & romance. Of course, make the tulip the main surprise, not the cake.
I'm sure some guys know how to do all these already, but some of them are not as detailed as others.
Not saying that those guys who are not as detailed are not good guys okay. -.-

Another thing is, both parties should never think about breaking up no matter how tough the situation is.
If you wanna know why some couples can last so long, to marriage, its simply because they didn't say break up. Right?
They tolerate each other and everything, and they compromise, they talk things out, but they don't give up.
Then they do that for 10 years, they're already used to it, used to each other's temper, know each other's flaws but 1 thing they don't do - give up.
Some couples break up because they want the best for the other party.
But honestly to me that's just bullshit.
They know they can't give their partner happiness, but how can they be so sure that the next person in their partner's life can give more happiness than himself?
For example, a guy and a girl.
The guy told the girl "I hope your next boyfriend will treat you better than me. I always make you sad, make you angry, get into quarrels and arguements with you, and fail to cheer you up."
Like seriously dude, are you a fortune teller? You mean you can predict her future? How would you know that her next boyfriend will treat her better than you can treat her?
Unless you're telling me that you physically abuse her, sexually abuse her, and even morally abuse her, I don't see the point of telling her that because every couple will definitely quarrel.
Does that mean that all couples shouldn't go through the stage whereby they argue, quarrel, sad or angry?
Every couple who deserved to get married are the ones who are always happy?
No.
And you, yourself, are the only person that you can be sure of, to give her happiness.
I'm not saying this to be biased against guys.
It goes for girls too.
Its just that I am a girl so whenever I make an example I'd put myself in the girl's shoes.
So pardon me k.

K next, yeah all that normal things that everyone knows.
Faithfulness, trust, honesty and blah.
But 1 more thing.
Men are more logical creatures and women are more emotional creatures.
But sometimes when women are honest and open with their feelings, men make women feel dumb and stupid for being emotional and feeling this way because women are not as logical as men are and men can't understand why women think that way.
And when this happens, women tend to think that they are at fault.
To explain it to women, men have to be extra careful and have extra patience.
For example, you can give her a hug first and tell her what you really mean while you're still embracing her.
It depends on the person's love language. If you don't know what is a love language, it means the way of showing your love.
Everyone's love language is different. Even guys.
For me, I believe the order of love language for me, according to the level of importance, is Words of Affirmation & Physical Touch(same score), Quality Time, Act of Service and then Receiving gifts.
For others, it might be others.
You can find out yours at this website: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/
Guys can do it too. Its quite accurate.
So for me I need physical touch and words of affirmation!
For example, if I argue with my boyf, he can just give me a hug to cool me down and say words of affirmation like "I know you .... I understand that you also ...." something like that. I WOULD BE REALLY HAPPY. LOL.
TADA.
That just solved the entire me. I'm like a puzzle.
Other women's love language might be Receiving gifts. So when you argue with her and you need to apologise, and if she's still angry and doesn't forgive you, buy a stalk of rose for her with a card that states "I'm sorry."
Or even Act of Service also can. If she's angry with you, you can help her do some things. For husbands, they can help their wives wash the dishes or do the laundry. So that to her, this is you showing your affection to her.
Something like that.
Every woman is like a mathematics puzzle. You just need patience & formula to solve(understand) her. Using this love language test, you've already gotten your formula.
Every guy is like a textbook. You just need to memorise what he's saying so you will understand him. In textbooks its all step-by-step teaching and thoughts. So you have to know how he's thinking(step-by-step too) that's why he's making such a decision and etc.

Ok I'm not really sure if what I said are right.. But they are all just my opinions.. Lol.
k I'm getting sleepy.
My eyes are shutting.
Just ate lunch hehe.
Aircon + Comfy chair + Full stomach = Zzz monsters attacking.
CIAOS :D

2012-01-09T13:36:00.002+08:00

Wah wah wah feeling so bu shuang nao that I have no choice but to vent it out here.
What the fuck is wrong with me sia?!
Yesterday he told me on the phone that he's gonna meet her on friday to meet up and chit chat.
Yes I was feeling like shit and angry but what can I do, right?
Yes he told me that he only loves me and I believe him but, there's still something inside me thats eating the hell out of me.
Then I also thought like.
"Wah this week get first pay, first girl to spend your money would be her, not me."
Like wth? This kind of thing also compare?
I really don't know what's wrong with me.
我自己过不了我自己那关？
Fuck my life, seriously.
If all these continues and if he can't handle it then BOOM that's the end of our relatioship.
THIS CAN'T CONTINUE.
I've tried ways to like seperate myself from thinking of these things.
It did work, but only temporarily ==
Wtf. Why am I so.. Fucked up sia.
Then I begin to wonder.. Why must they meet up alone? :S
As a guy who has a girlfriend already and as a girl who's gonna be attached soon.
Yup as close friends I understand.
And maybe got another girl joining them.
But is maybe only :S
And another thing.. Why he never ask me along?
Probably he doesn't want her to feel awkward with me around..
But he rather he don't let her feel awkward than me feeling so shitty and worried about him?
That, I don't know.
If I ask him that question, he'll probably think that it's stupid..
And we'll just quarrel again.
I think other girls in the world also not as easily jealous, sensitive and stupid as I am?!
So I just pretended not to care but actually I'm dying inside.
ARGHHHHHHH. Forget it. Fuck myself.

Then nvm he told me he wanna get a bb phone with a bb plan.
Cause he thinks that his current htc phone is too laggy.
So he bought a bb.
But then it automatically comes to me that SHE, is also, using a bb.
So. I always ask him "Who you wanna bbm? Hmm?" like sub-consciously.
I don't even know why I do that even though I trust him that he'll be faithful to me.
I say it in a jokingly manner.. Probably because I don't wanna create trouble.
But deep inside me I really wanted to know the answer.. Zz..
What is wrong with me.
I think I need help ==

I always compare myself to her automatically and I always think I lose to her.
He did tell me before the reasons why he loves me.
But still there's a part of me that's constantly worried about things like..
"Will there be a day whereby he realises that she's also a nice girl(or even nicer girl than me in fact) and he'll fall for her again? Since he liked her before, will it happen again too? Will it be of the same reasons too? What's gonna happen to us?"
Things like feelings, no one can be sure or what's gonna happen in the future.
No matter how much you love that person, if the relationship doesn't work out and all you do is quarrel and quarrel, it'll eventually turn sour and you'll sub-consciously look for someone better, or even worse, a better relationship.
*Deep sigh*
Right? Does it makes sense? I need answers. Why is this blog so dead? Where is everyone? Where are my friends? :/
Do I have any friends that I can say all these things to?
My longest friend is Jeremy, yes, but he's also friends with Jf and I can't possibly tell him things like these.
I need a friend who can really tell me if I'm right and everything.
A reason why I don't wanna tell Jf first is cause if it doesn't make sense and if what I say are just all my stupid thinkings, I don't think its necessary to tell him cause it'll only stir trouble.
The one and only person I can tell all these to.
Is my sister..

What should I do?
I feel like crying.
Maybe I shouldn't be so attached to him.

2012-01-04T14:28:00.003+08:00

1 week 1 day never blog liao..
Like a long only. :S
So bored in the office.
And so broke.
I've never been so broke in my life lol.
When I'm studying I get more money than when I'm working.
Is that even possible? :o

Lately.
There are some problems that we encountered and we argue easily.
But when we're sweet, we're really sweet!
So is that good or bad? :/
I'm sooooooo sleepy right nao.
I've been watching Running man on kshownow.
And WGM.
Omggggg WGM couples are so sweet I SWEAR.
My ideal-fairytale-like-relationship is like Nickhun/Victoria or YongHwa/Seohyun and LeeTeuk/Sora!!
Its like they're so shy at the start and even when they continue being 'together' for a long time they are still shy when it comes to compliments and such.
Maybe its because they don't see each other often, that's why they're like..
Still not that comfortable with each other yet.
Even small things like feeding each other/holding hands and etc it makes them soooooo shy about it.
They can take like 1 year + to just give each other a kiss on the forehead.
After that they still remain super shy. Lol.
Its those shy moments that make people envy them.
And its so cute when they get shy I never bluff you LOL.
They're honest about their feelings and they understand each other very well.
Even though they might so see each other often due to their own schedules, they treasure every single moment of being together and they make each second memorable.
Another thing about their relationships is the element of surprise.
They prepare events.
No matter how big, like Leeteuk proposing to Sora in front of all his fans during his concert, or how small, like wives would prepare lunch boxes for their husbands when they're working, they still do it.
And things like going to the market and buying ingredients together!!!!
Then they bring it home, cook it together and enjoy the meal together.
It makes me think that they're really living together and they're so sweeeeeeeeeeet!
Argh this entire paragraph is written with envy. I SWEAR.
And to the person who keeps lying using the word "I SWEAR" and made people not believe in that word anymore: FUCK YOU. LOL.
Cause nowadays when people say "I SWEAR!" or "I SUMPAHH!!" no one believes them anymore =.=

Aiyo, I'm like talking bullshit here alr.
K bye :)

2011-12-27T11:24:00.002+08:00

Hiii~
I haven't been updating for so long, I know. Haha.
Merry Belated Xmas to you, who's reading this, anyway! :)
Haha.
I'm so bored.
And yes I'm in the office again. LOL.

Recently I have been spending my days with my boyfriend, ever since he had holidays from army.
But now he's back in the course, I feel so damn weird without him, that I'm so near to crying, I swear.
And yesterday, 26th December was our second month's monthlyversary. :)
Time flies, its been 2 months since we've started out together already!
Maybe that's cause we both had fun being together, despite the times that we've been arguing and shouting at each other.
I used to think that its an embarrassing thing for people to know that a couple is quarreling within a couple of months of being together.
But oh well, screw it lol.
Cause what's the use of being sweet for 3-4 months and when you start quarreling, in the end it only leads to breaking up? :/

Anyway.
Its been a long time since I've clubbed.
3 weeks? Until on the Saturday, 24th December.
I went to PH to celebrate my girlfriend's birthday - Jasmine.
I have no idea why I didn't have the mood to even dance.. At all. -.-
Last time when I enter PH I'll be like.. FASTER GO DRINK I WANNA GO DANCE.
But on Sat when I entered PH I was like.. Ok, sian.. Nice music, but.. Lazy to dance. -.-
But never mind, I still drank and danced. Its been months since I've stepped onto the podium.
Lolll I really didn't wanna go up. :(
I even FORGOT how to dance. Omg. LOLOL.
Then my girlf got drunk and me and my boyfriend sent her home.
After we've sent her back safely, we wanted to take a cab to my house.
But we just lit our cigarettes and a cab stopped for us.
What shocked us more was the cab driver asked us to SMOKE in his cab!
But he had the windows winded down, and viola! Smoking in the cab. :)
The uncle was very nice. LOL.
He told us he smokes in his own cab too so its okay as long as the ashes don't come into the vehicle.

I also met up with my other girlfriend - Guoyi before I went to PH that day.
Well I was supposed to join her for her Christmas event.. But I was super duper late.
But nonetheless, I had a good chat with her like always. :)

Now for the part on my boyfriend.
He's awesome, like always! I love him to the max.
We had dinner on Saturday, Xmas eve night at King Louis, which was like.. Awesome cause we had a feast on Beef, Pork, Chicken and Turkey.
We couldn't finish it though lol.
Then on Sunday night we watched a movie, Sherlock Holmes, at cineleisure and thought of eating a bit while watching the movie.
But I ate too much that I was full hehe.
We were supposed to eat Ramen at 313 but we were too full hahaha.
Then we walked walked around and went home.
Surprisingly, my boyfriend's brother, mingfa, and jeremy were at my house playing mahjong with my sister!
So I played with them for a while before my boyfriend took over me.
And since there were enough people I thought I can watch TV for a while.
But guess what, I fell asleep. HAHAHA.
And what's even more surprising was that after they finished playing, it was about 5.30am and my boyfriend princess-carried me to my bed and tucked me in before rushing home.
SWEET OR WHATTTTTTT :D
HEHEHE.
And yesterday night we ate at T.G.I.Friday at Heeren.
Whoa I ate the honey back ribs. Awesome max.
But I ordered the wrong drink.
As you know, I love the colour blue so immediately when I flipped the drinks menu, this blue stunning drink caught my eyes.
And guess what, when I drank it, it tasted like Vodka. Like seriously?! EEEW.
I look forward to more days like that with him.
Its really fun and sweet :)

Ok, I'm off. :)
I miss my boyfriend!!!!!!!!
Arggghhhhhhhh.

2011-12-20T11:44:00.002+08:00

Wah.
Stress la sial. ZZ.
Nowadays work is getting more and more boring, but stressed at the same time.
Boring as in, nothing to do.
But stressed becauseof some email and re-designing the website thingy.
I am the person in charge of all these.
But I have to go find my other colleagues to help me fill up some information about the company.
AND THEY ARE SO SLOW...
Zzz then I'm to blame.. -.-
Every single morning I SCARED to check my email cause scared my boss email me to ask me about it.
But fuck it, I still have to check and reply them.
Then I never check for like 1 day only, he text me ask me follow up zzz.
Wtf. That day I go malaysia only, never even stay overnight, he text me liao.
Wah sian man.
This is NOT the kind of job I want.
I want that kind of job that doesn't need me to go home and still continue doing/thinking about it.
ARGH.

Anyway I haven't been updating my blog for damn long already.
HAHAHA.
Life is good nowadays.
So don't really need to rant much lol.
K BYE!

2011-12-12T13:23:00.003+08:00

Bored.

No mood to blog.

So damned pissed off.

So damned disappointed.

So damned sad.

So damned paranoid.

So damned..... Argh.

Having moodswing so damned badly.

How long can I keep this up?

I can do it.

Its only 3 days.

Sure can one.

2011-12-02T12:04:00.003+08:00

Oh ya I forgot to mention is my previos kpop post about JYP and Cube entertainment. LOL.

Shit. Nvm. And I also forgot to include Big Bang in the list of my fav kpop groups. :o

But all their news all died down after Daesung's car accident and G-dragon's marijuana rumors already.

So I haven't been paying attention them.

BUT RECENTLY. The one that's catching ALOT of my attention is 2AM.

And 2PM.

2AM + 2PM = ONE DAY.

Fans of 2AM are called "I AM" - because their fanclub motto: "[I] exist because of [AM]".

Fans of 2PM are called "Hottest" - 2PM is the hottest time of the day. And hottest has 7 letters which represented each of the members before Jay Park left. :(

So 2AM + 2PM = I AM HOTTEST.

2AM's voices are SO nice I swear.

I'm stuck to listening to 3 songs.

With or without you - Click here to listen to it.

Even if I die I can't let you go- Click here to listen to it.

I was wrong- Click here to listen to it.

I hope you'll love it k.

I'm so nice to even put the links there :x

Mouse over the 'here's to click on it.

Applies to my kpop post as well.

I realised not a lot of people will put their mouse over the 'here's -.-

LOL.

K anyway I'm so bored in the office.

I'm doing the same thing everyday.

Later gonna meet up with my poly coursemates in town to slack or what. Idk.

Bored max and tired max. Zzzz.

I think I've been too busy lately cause I GOT PIMPLE OUTBREAKS LIAO.

Walao eh now I already 19 still undergoing puberty meh?

I thought puberty stops at the age of 18 for girls?!

ZZZZZZZ. Irritating max... :(

2011-12-01T09:47:00.003+08:00

Hiiii its December already~

Time flies as you grow older.

This morning when I checked my email, I received an email from the school.

It was titled "New Survey - GET Senior Student Satisfaction Survey......."

But the content wrote "Survey Title: GET Junior Survey. Survey Target Group: GET Junior."

So I'm a GET Senior who needs to do a survey for the Juniors?

Or do I have to make a survey for the Juniors?

Or is there an error?

I dont' think the school will send viruses emails(although the sender sent it 4 times -.-), so I clicked on the link and it linked me to TP's website.

I logged in with my school's ID(I nearly forgot my ID and password cause it's been damn bloody long since I've touched school's stuff).

Anddddd TADA. There was survey.

So I did it.

Like normal, lazy students, I just put "Agree" as the option for all.

Until I saw these open-ended questions.

I have never tried to answer them.

I always put "-" just to fill the spaces in and then submit the entire survey within 3 minutes.

But my grudge against TP is building up so much that I can't hold it back anymore.

And since this is the last survey for me(I think, because its my last semester), I've decided to rant it all out.

So one of the question for the survey was: "Share with us any area of improvement you would like to suggest within the diploma."

And my answer:

"For our internship. Please provide us with a company that actually really wants us. Like other schools, all of my friends do not even need to go through interviews. They're sent directly there to experience everything. My internship's delayed by 1 week because I was rejected previously from a company that chose 2 out of 3 people. Amongst the 3, I'm the one with the highest GPA and the one that lives to closest - I just had to walk 5 minutues from my house - and I was even alright with working overtime. I am pretty sure I did not say/do anything wrong during the interview - I was early, but the other 2 people were not.

I think its very unfair for me. Because of this, I lost my experience to be a tester and now I'm in a company that just makes me do data entry. For OSIP, I think its unfair too because we have to go through interviews and be filtered by our GPAs as well, and its very unfair for the rest of the students like me. In other schools, which my friend is in, the entire course was sent to do their OSIP for 3 weeks without even going through any interviews.

I understand that there are not a lot of companies in Singapore that are game-related. But please put more effort into looking at IT-related, at least. I also understand that going through interviews are part and parcel of looking for a job in the future, but as of now we are still students and grades are more important than looking for a job. So if the school will and can, kindly help us as students a little - by confirming some of the companies really DO WANT interns and not for us to find other companies instead. If the school can't find companies, I doubt students can too.

As for OSIP, I understand that there are also problems with our visa approval, budget, most companies being the Western countries, safety of the students and all, but if the school is willing to spend a bit more, or just enough, I'm pretty sure the students can get a good experience from overseas companies and I'm sure that beats looking for a company locally who just need an intern to do data entry."

Another question: "Share with us how well you are able to adapt to Term Mode Teaching. (Applicable only to students in Sem 2.2 and above)"

For those who don't know, Term Mode Teaching was a system that splits the term into 2, as well as the number of modules. For example if it isn't Term Mode Teaching yet, 1 semester which includes 6 months, and let's say you have 7 modules to take that semester. In Term Mode Teaching, they split it into 3 months and 4 modules in the first half and 3 modules in the second. Or vice versa. But you learn the same amount of materials you need to learn in 6 months. Tests which are supposed to be 4-5 weeks apart are now cramped to only 2-3 weeks apart.

So my answer was: "Its more rushy. It benefits only some people. It keeps students always studying for tests between weeks but everything is shortened and cramped together. So I'm not really sure if students are studying just to pass the tests or to really understand the materials."

And another question: "The subjects that I am least confident in are:"

Visual Literacy is a module that requires student to draw.

& My answer: "Visual Literacy. This module is the first module in the first year on the first day for me, back in 2009. To me, it was a very big disadvantage. I have never passed my Art and because of this module, my GPA was pulled down. And I can't possibly ask another person to draw for me. That's cheating. So if TP wants to nuture students with good skills and good grades, they should consider spending more time on the skills THEY want to learn instead of forcing them to do it, but with bad grades.

I understand that Storyboarding and Art skills are needed. But only to Artists in the team. Maybe GET should start filtering students from the first year and not wait till the end of 2nd year, where we get to choose our electives. This course is too general. We learn everything. From programming, art, sound, to business. There should be a focus on one of them - that's why we have electives, yes, but it's too late. For example, if I'm better in programming, I should spend more time learning programming stuff and not do art, sound and business stuff. But there's still a need for me to learn them, so they should be theory-wise and not practical-wise."

The last question: "Share with us some areas that TP can improve."

My answer: "Please let students know of their timetables at least 1 week before school starts. And not 3 days. Students have to wait impatiently for the timetable to be released. Please understand that some of us have work and we need to submit the days that we can work on, depending on our timetable. This is definitely NOT EFFICIENT."

Yes I believe every single student is pissed off about that. I SWEAR. I've been tahan-ing this for like 3 years already -.-

Is TP really fair to students? :/ I have no idea how other schools' systems are.. So correct me if I'm wrong.

P.S. I just pressed submit and it brings me back to the login page without saving. Errr.. Efficient much? TP?

2011-11-30T15:36:00.001+08:00

WARNING: LARGE AMOUNT OF PICTURES AHEAD.

Hiiiiiiiiii~

Since MAMA's over last night, I thought I should do a little post about Kpop and the groups I like to finish my experience with MAMA in Singapore.

For MAMA to be held in Singapore, its already a very big thing and I'm so proud to be a Singaporean(in this case)!

Because the music industry in Korea(Only South Korea :/) is so popular WORLDWIDE, and I really mean Worldwide cause not only the Asians listen to it.

The Caucasians too! Europeans! If you search on Youtube about Kpop Flash mobs, most of them are in the Western Countries, believe it or not!

And about all those bullcraps about plastic surgery, personally I don't care if they have plastic surgery or not - at least they have the money to do it, and at least they still have fans who like them as who they are instead of how they look like. :)

As you all know, Kpop has recently began to gain fame and personally I think its because of Wonder Girl's song - "Nobody". Or even before that, there was a movie called 200 pounds beauty. The song's name is called "Maria". That was the FIRST Korean song I've ever listened to.

And the Big 3 companies "ruling" over the music industry in South Korea now are: S.M Entertainment, YG Entertainment and J.Y.P.

But personally for me I would like to include Cube Entertainment as well. I think they're doing quite well with 4 minute, B2ST, G.Na and the new solo artist - A Pink(Who's under A-cube but A-Cube is a sister company to Cube Entertainment so its the same).

S.M Entertainment is very famous for idols groups like Super Junior(SUJU), Girls Generation(SNSD), BoA, f(x), SHINee, TVXQ, TRAX and older idol groups such as Shinhwa and H.O.T. Not to mention that they co-publish Japanese artists as well such as Ayumi Hamasaki, Koda Kumi, and Namie Amuro.

Personally I think S.M Entertainment focuses on doing a new album for popular groups such as SUJU and SNSD, since they're so hot now, why not grab the chance to make some money, right? While they're busy making albums for a particular group, they send the other artists on concert tours. So its like a one-stone-kill-many-birds situation!

YG Entertainment only have 2NE1 and Big Bang as their popular groups to "earn" money for them. Other artists under YG are not as popular as SM's artists.

K let me just tell you some of my fav groups :D

And among them who I like the most. Or rather, who am I more biased towards.

In no particular order:

1. B2ST(Also known as BEAST)

I really like B2ST ALOT!! :D These dorky boys are fun-loving but at the same time they know when to be serious and when to be fun-loving. For example in one of their youtube videos while practising to their song "Breathe", they were super playful and did this short 30+ seconds of retarded dancing. You can watch it here. :) And they also have a lot of fun making new MVs, like for example in the MV "Beautiful", they really look like they're enjoying themselves while making this MV. You can watch it here. :D and are always cheerful no matter what.

And the winning point that made me chose them over other guy groups? Its because their dance ALWAYS depict the meaning of their song. :) Its like I can tell straightaway from their dance moves. Not to offend anyone, but I'm just saying, I don't see that in other guy groups.. Their dances are always cool and everything but I don't see any link to their song :/ Sorry to say that.

One obvious example to show that B2ST's dance corresponds to their song, is to watch this video of "Mystery". Sorry the video kinda sucks but thats the best that I can find. :/ Oh and I love how catchy their songs are! I can listen to them all day without feeling bored of it :] At the same time I can learn how to sing their song because MOST, not all, of their pronunciations are clear enough for people who have no experience with Korean words at all. :)

& that's why I love the boys! Go ahead, fall in love with them starting today!

This is the album cover of "Shock" :)

They don't look very nice here T_T

From left to right:

Doo Joon (Leader)
Hyun Seung(Main Dancer)
Gi Kwang(Lead Dancer)
Yo Seob(Main Vocalist)
Dong Woon(Maknae)
Jun Hyung(Rapper)

And my fav guy is.... *Drumrolls*

DONGWOON~~~ HEHE.

Sexy right! LOL.

Sadly, a lot of people don't see him the way I do. And there are more fans for the other members compared to Woonie :( Especially Gi Kwang and Yo Seob. I mean I like all of them but the one that never fails to catch my eyes is Dong Woon. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE'S BLONDE. #spazzzzzz

Here are some other pictures of the other members!

This guy on the left of Gi Kwang is NOT one of the members. He's the boys' manager.

2. Girl's Generation(SNSD)

Although many people would say that they are over-rated and blah, it doesn't affect me. Cause I see the talent in each of them. :]

From left to right:

Soo Young(Lead Dancer)
Yuri(Main Dancer)
Tiffany(Lead Vocalist)
Jessica(Main vocalist)
Tae Yeon(Leader, Main vocalist)
Sunny(Lead vocalist)
SeoHyun(Maknae, Lead Vocalist)
Yoona(Lead Dancer)
Hyo Yeon(Main Dancer)

And my favourite member would be.... *drumrolls*

KID LEADER TAEYEON :DDDD She's so cute and she has a POWERFUL voice. :)

You can view all the powerful voice compilations here!

She's cute, funny and many many many more :D

My mum said I look like her in the picture below.

I used to put that picture as my laptop wallpaper.

So one day she walked in and I was about to turn off my lappy.

So I exited everything while waiting for it to shut down.

Then she went "EH?! SINCE WHEN YOU TAKE THIS PHOTO?"

I was like "Mom, thats not me......"

I like Yuri & Sunny too! And I'm starting to grow a lot of feelings of Seo Hyun after watching her on We Got Married!! I can really tell that she's a very humble, polite, pure and innocent little girl. Well, she's the maknae of the group anyway. :] And sorry to say, I hate Yoona because she's too over-rated. She's always the one to be acting in dramas and starring in shows, so its not fair to the other members!! And the incident about Sunny being SM Entertainment's CEO's niece, doesn't make her less talented than other members. She has her own charm, talent and rights to be loved by everyone too!

Photos of other members(sorry I only have these few cause the rest are taeyeon's xD):

Anyway sorry, I can't post much after B2ST's post because I'm in the office and I gotta do work now so I'll be brief about the other groups!

3. CN BLUE

They're not really an idol group but more of a band. And I really like their songs :)

Some are catchy, some are emotional, some are rock and they just portray the feelings of their songs SO WELL. Like how did they DO THAT?!

From left to right:

Jung Yong Hwa(Leader, Main vocalist, Rapper, Guitarist)
Lee Jong Hyun(Guitarist, Lead vocalist)
Kang Min Hyuk(Drummer)
Lee Jung Shin(Bass Guitarist, Rapper)

My favourite member would be...... *drumrolls*

JUNG YONG HWAAAA. :D *SCREAMS*

HE'S SO TALENTED. He can sing, play instruments, act in dramas, be entertaining in variety shows AND MANY MORE!!

You can hear how nice his voice is by this song called "The Banmal Song" that he wrote for Seo Hyun(SNSD) and him when they "got married" in the variety show called "We Got Married".

Listen to the song here! I really like Yong Hwa and Seo Hyun in WGM :( I cried so much when they were bidding goodbye!! :( Watch a tribute to YongSeo couple here!! Their love is sooo pure and innocent! Its really a dream love story for every girl :) Korean guys treat girls so nicely! Ahh I wanna cry!!

4. SHINee

Although they're still not as popular as other groups like snsd and suju, but they're still cute in their own ways!

From left to right:

Onew(Leader, Lead vocalist)
Taemin(Main Dancer, maknae)
Jong Hyun(Main vocalist)
Min Ho(Lead Dancer)
Key(Lead Dancer, Lead vocalist)

My favourite member - KEY. He's very talented and he's very cute. But a lot of people say he's gay -.- Wth man, offended much.

Pictures of other members:

DUE TO TIME CONSTRAINTS I CAN'T POST ANYMORE PICTURES :( Sorry!!

5. 2pm

This group uses more of their charm and personality rather than their singing talents :x

ALL of them have hot abs!!! And nice facessss. The only one with singing talent, I guess its Junsu. LOL.

My favourite member - I wanna say, its VERY hard for me to choose!! Its a tie between Nickhun and Junho!! And honestly I really like Woo Young too!! He's so cute! LOL. Taecyeon is super over-rated, like Yoona. But well, he's funny and he's hot too. LOL.

6. 2am

This is a ballad group. They don't sing songs that are rock and etc. They really have ALOT of talent in singing.

My favourite member is non other than Jo Kwon. Because of WGM(again) LOL. He's really a joker and he's really really really funny. But the other members like Seulong and Jinwoon are FUNNY TO THE MAX PLUS! They have abs too... ^^ *DROOLS* While Changmin knows how to cook NICE DISHES ^^

I like their song "Can't let you go even if I die". Watch it here! You can tell from that song, their POWERFUL POWERFUL VOICE. Its like they don't even have to dance. Their voice just makes up for it!

2PM + 2AM = 1 day. 11 Members(before Jaebeom left)

Now they're sub groups already. Explains why all of them have monster bodies, right? :D HEHE. Love it LOL.

7. Super Junior

I don't really know much about them. The only person I saw when their VERY famous song "Sorry Sorry" became hot, was Kyu Hyun.

BUT I KNOW MY FAVOURITE MEMBER IS LEETEUK :D I used to like Kyu Hyun but then it changed when I got to know Leeteuk hehe!

8. MBLAQ

I only know that this group has 2 boys whose sisters are artists too. 1 is Mir and 1 is Thunder. Thunder is Sandara Park(2NE1)'s younger brother and Mir is the younger brother of actress Go Eun Ah.

My favourite member is Lee Joon. WHO LOOKS LIKE YONGHWAAAAAAAAAA. ALOT. :D

9. T-ara

These cute girls don't really have a lot of fans. But I really like their song "Good Person". Watch it here! I also love their new song, Roly Poly, because its really catchy :D!

My favourite member is... SO HARD TO CHOOSE. Between Eunjung and Soyeon! Eunjung's wild and brave to show off her dancing skills and etc while Soyeon is cute!! :)

P.S. All pictures are credited to tumblr blogs, google images, allkpop, and their respective Facebook fan pages.

P.P.S. SORRY GTG NOW. Sorry for the short ending!!

2011-11-29T09:22:00.002+08:00

RT @LostWords_: One thing I can promise you is that when I'm with you, nobody else matters.

I'm so bored.

I just reached office.

And I checked my email.

And guess what!

Twitter replied my email! YAYYYYY.

So my widget is now working.

And I totally understood why.

Because previously my tweets were protected :X

So now I have to make my tweets public. Meaning anyone/everyone can steal it lolol.

And now people who wanna follow me on Twitter can just follow me without sending a request to me.

Previously I made my account private because, well, I believe things on the Cyber world should be private.

But since I don't write a lot of things on Twitter and I doubt more than 5 people visit my blog anymore, so I don't think its THAT dangerous.

Anyway.

I feel so annoyed by my room's aircon -.-

Every morning I have to fiddle with it just to turn it on.

Ugh. I wanna end internship fastfast!

And oh yeah. I might be going to Hong Kong with my boyf :]

But I still have a problem..

Internship.. Can take leave meh? If I never remember wrongly, in the pre-internship briefing back in school, Joshua Liew said no MCs and leaves can be taken... -____-

Jialat liao. ZZZ.

I should try to ask my boss.

Either make it unpaid leave or extend 1 more week of internship.

I don't mind one. Even if unpaid.

Not say I lack of money lol.

I'm just doing this to get it over and done with. .___.

Why TP's(or rather, our course) internship like that one ah?

Jeremy's internship is whole course go overseas for 3 weeks then finish alr leh.

But he's in SP la, not TP.

Ours, go overseas, still need to see gpa. zz.

Unfair much. :(

People like me and Midzi DYING to go overseas for internship also cannot =.=

Sian.

Then Joshua Liew still tell me my GPA is not bad one, in those top few.

Then I was like thinking: "Ya right.. Our course only 100+ people what =.= You say top 200 students to other people they also will believe cause they dunno how many students are there in my course."

Compare my gpa to people in Ngee Ann.

Maybe its school's problem.

I got a lot of friends in Ngee Ann, all EASILY get 3.9, 4.0.

In TP? Or rather, my course?

Get 1 3.6 also gonna headache already.

Maybe you say the course is difficult.

Difficult still need to put the cut off points at 16? 17?

16/17 is like mediocre.

So if smart people get into this course and can only get 3.6/3.7 maximum, do you think there's a problem with the course?

Plus, none of the modules are linked to secondary school subjects.

And we're required to know how to draw characters? Animation? And storyboarding? Even taking pictures? Wtf.

Now that I think of it, this course is ridiculous -.-

ITS A SCAM. For people who think that this course is to come in and play games -.-

BUT. It will be a very good experience for people who is REALLY PASSIONATE about gaming.

So yup.

I don't wanna continue ranting anymore -.-

2011-11-25T10:07:00.003+08:00

RT @ispeakfemale: They say I deserve the best, but if the best isn't you, then I don't want it ♥

Hehe. Thanks a quote that I like from ispeakfemale's account on Twitter.

MY TWITTER WIDGET IS STILL NOT WORKING LA.

Whyyyyyy. Stupid Twitter Support Team haven't email me back! :C

Haha.

Anyway I'm in the office nao!

And its finally Friday again! Yay! :D

I'm gonna have dinner with my Secondary School friends later, then after that go slack with Jasmine and Huihui(if they want to.)

If they don't want, then I go watch movie with Secondary School friends. C:

Yesterday I had the most magical day ever.. REALLY.

For me who has a boyfriend that's in army and who can only book out on weekends, I'll never expect to see him from Monday - Thursday.

But I did, yesterday.

Luckily for us his camp was in Jurong too so he came over to have lunch with me after his eye checkup at NUH.

His left eye was VERY red and I was SOOOOOO worried when he told me he was in the ambulance and on his way to NUH.

After his checkup he can go home already, but he knew I'd be eating lunch alone so he came over to my office area to have lunch with me!

Downstairs my office got 1 kopitiam, there got Astons.

And I remembered him saying that he has never eaten Astons before so since he's here then let's eat Astons! :D

So after eating lunch, he went home for awhile to study and change and bathe and then he came over to pick me after my work! :)

And he sent me home! And we had homecooked dinner by my grandma :)

He LOVESSSSS homecooked food.

And I eat well with him everytime we have a meal together :)

And when I say eat well I meant eating without thinking whether I'd grow fat/thinking if these calories will be burnt or not :)

So I just eat and eat and eat as much as I like and I don't even have to think about eating unglam-ly in front of him.

I did quite a number of unglam things alr actually LOL. Especially the sloppy side of me. :x

Things like yawning and stretching my arms at the same time without closing my mouth and showing my cramped face, things like sitting with my leg up on the chair, things like sleeping in front of him LOL, talking in a weird tone and voice which I normally do at home only. And many many many moreeee. :) Thats how comfortable I feel around him. Hehe!

So last night after dinner we slacked at my house a while, while watching shirley play dota and jf played a few games too, then we went to watch movie.

WE FINALLY CAUGHT THE MOVIE "YOU ARE THE APPLE OF MY EYE".

Its such a.. Disgusting but nice movie LOL.

Disgusting in the way that they can just show that guy's ass.. Zz. And all the pervertic stuffs.

But the storyline is nice :)

Then after that I went home and faster bathed.

And I lied down on my bed.. And my bf was sitting down beside my bed.

He said he wanna watch me sleep before he left. C:

So I asked him to pat me to sleep hehe :x

And he did. And this morning he told me that he confirmed and double confirmed and triple confirmed that I really fell asleep before he left.

So I asked him how did he confirmed?

He told me he whispered things into my ears.. LOL.

Its so sweet hehe. But now he don't wanna tell me what he said :(

So yesterday was a very magical day.

First, I get to see him on a Thursday that I would NEVER imagine.

Second, he even spent lunch with me.

Third, he came to fetch me from work :D HEHE.

Fourth, like any other couples, we get to go on a movie date! Our first! And on a Thursday too!!

Fifth, he's the last thing I could see before I fell asleep :)

Sixth, he whispered something in my ears! Thats very sweet to meeeeeee. :)

Hehe. I love this guy so much! :D

2011-11-23T09:44:00.010+08:00

RT @GirlPosts: A person that truly loves you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is.

Yes, the above sentence pwns all others :)

There are currently some problems with my twitter widget on my blog -.-

Idk what it is but I've emailed my problem to Twitter's support team already.

I just hope they'll solve it asap.

Anyway..... I've forgotten what I wanna say.

On my way to work this morning, in the train, I had so many things on my mind that I wanna write on my blog.

But now after this Twitter problem thing, my brain's like wiped out. -.-

Okayyyy I'll try to remember some..

Hmmm.

I like Honey Red tea. LOL. Random, I know. :D

I'm drinking it now. Maybe thats why. Lol.

The one at JE MRT, Sweettalk, I always buy from there.

The pearl is nice leh. And the amount of Honey and Red Tea is just nice too. LOL.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm so bored.

This morning my parents quarreled when I was still sleeping.

Early in the morning quarrel for what! Zzz.

I don't even know why. Then what heightened my mom's anger was Prince.

He go pee in my mom's room.

I feel like saying one sentence to Prince: "KAU BODOH PE?!" -.-

Then my mom was SOOOOOOO angry she just went up to Prince and whacked him hardly in his head.

Now now now, that's ABUSE.

And I hate animal cruelty! TO THE MAX!!!

Yes, Prince did something wrong but there is no ABSOLUTE NEED to whack him so hard, and in his head somemore.

When my mom whacked him he let out a shriek cause he didn't know what was wrong and it was painful for him. :C

I was so pissed off as well I didn't even wanna talk to my mom.

Its like.. HELLO?! SHE JUST VENTED HER ANGER ON THAT POOR THING!!!

How would she like it if I vented my anger on her by doing the same thing?!

Plus, she NEVER understood dog languages. >:|

Because last time she hits dogs so much and whenever she raises her arms, Prince would think that she will hit him so he sits down, and then turn over on his back to actually prevent himself from getting hit on his head(and act cute at the same time so your heart will go soft and like "AWWW He's so cute I'm not gonna hit him anymore" kinda thing. He don't do that one purpose cause he's already cute by default.), which is actually a smart move. :)

But what my mom thinks is that Prince wants to get a massage from her -.-

She will go like "Okay okay I massage for you okay. SLEEP!" ("Sleep" is her way of asking the dog to turn on his back -.-)

Then my mom will just touch the dog's tummy area.

My mom knows that I love dogs and she ALWAYS complain about them whenever we have dogs at home.

I swear if next time she's still gonna be like this, I'm really gonna move out when I get older... >:|

I can't tolerate people hitting and complaining about my dogs. I really treat them like my own children. Its the same as if people are hitting and complaining about her children! >:|

And one last thing..

She thinks that dogs are JUST animals and they don't have to be treated nicely!!! >:|

She also don't know that different breeds have different characteristics despite me having to tell her like umm.... 91832948348935790232748561289 times?

Unfortunately our dog is a stubborn and stupid type - its true. :(

No one at home is really that free to train him anyway.

I know people will say its kinda irresponsible for us as owner not to train him but at least we make sure that he knows how to behave when he's out of the house. :)

When he's out of the house he don't bark and he's always on leash unless we decide to put him onto a table so that he have no way to escape because he's too ballless to jump down from the table. :P

So all she do is the complain and complain but she also don't know that sometimes when no one at home talks to her, she talks and plays with the dog herself.

She only know how to look at the bad side of having a dog - having to clean up their mess, feed it, bathe it, groom it and sending it to a vet which can easily cause a big hole in your pocket.

But the good side? Dogs are forever loyal and they are good companions. :)

I'm sure a lot of people will agree with me. :)

We have fun times at home because of Prince too. Sometimes he just goes crazy running about the house and everyone's laughing at him and to me, I think that's a very heartwarming moment :)

And on a random note, what's WRONG with all those people using Talkbox?!?! STOP BROADCASTING A "HELLO~" TO EVERYONE ON YOUR FRIEND LIST == GO FLIRT WITH PEOPLE YOU WANNA FLIRT WITH LA. ITS IRRITATING. And also people on whatsapp and facebook, if you say HIIII and I didn't reply, please don't continue spamming or trying because if I didn't reply you the first time, there'll always be a second time, third time, fourth time and so on.. So 3 words for people like those mentioned above: FUCK OFF PLEASE. == Getting so irritated with that. Seriously. I download Talkbox for people I know and I'm close with to contact me. NOT FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO BROADCAST YOUR FLIRT MESSAGES. Especially girls!!! They will record their SUPERDUPERACTCUTE voice saying "Hellooo~~" and broadcast it to your entire fucking friend list -_- Its also Talkbox's fault for linking Talkbox with Facebook.. Imagine you have 5k friends on Facebook so broadcasting 1 "hello" is like going to 5k people's house acting cute while standing outside their door saying hello. -______- And for those guys who wanna hong some sluts, please go to Geylang. If you wanna do it Cyber-ly, please don't go on Facebook -____- Facebook is so publicized. ==

Okay that aside..

In the train I was thinking about the past few days.

I've been quite pessimistic myself, not only for you, baby. :C

But I recalled the time when I told you why I liked you and I've also told myself to be more optimistic this time :)

This section is dedicated to you, baby :)

People reading my blog, judge this from a 3rd person view(means as if you don't know me at all).

Recently I've been in love with this guy who has an amazing character and to me, awesome build(as in body shape).

Okay so like here are some of the things that he's good at.

(In no particular order ah. HOW CAN PEOPLE PUT THIS BY ORDER?!)

1. Studies.

Like, come on la if you only take 6 days to study for O levels and get into a freaking JC, don't deny that you're smart. -.- I took 3 months to study and I got into a Poly. Like wtf? LOL. I'M STUPID D:

2. Talking.

He's so friendly to everyone. He can talk to ANYONE without feeling shy. For me I'm the opposite. I'm shy at everything. :C So that's something BIG to me and I respect him for that. :D Maybe thats one of the methods he used to sweettalk to me. Hahaha nah jk, this feature in him is by nature one. He don't have to do it purposely; its IN him. C:

3. Cooking.

He knows how to cook! And I told him before that I feel intimidated by him cause he knows how to do so many things like these and I'm a girl and I don't even know all these. But he reassured me by telling me that he can cook if I don't know how to. C: Sweet or what. But I will learn how to cook - I don't want him to be the one doing everything while I'm just sitting down somewhere enjoying the things that he did for me because I think that in a relationship there shouldn't be only one person putting in the effort to do stuffs for the other party. C: SO! I will learn! :)

4. Foodddddddddd.

He just knows where all the good food are. :) A few weeks ago I just said I feel like eating Korean and he brought me to a Korean restaurant to eat. And let me tell youuuuuuuu, I'm really satisfied with it. :) He knows which are the good dishes to order. :D And for me, I LOVE FOOD. :D But scared fat. LOL. :C

5. Faithful.

Seeing that he's so faithful in liking a person, there's no doubt that he'll stick to me forever :) I can tell this feature from the past few girls that he liked. He told me about it and I can really tell cause its THAT distinct and straight forward that he's faithful.

6. Gentleman.

He'll always be the one offering to pay for everything, always be the one asking me if I'm okay with this decision and that, always be the one making sure I'm happy and comfortable with him, always be the one going with a decision I make if I don't want his and when he does all these, I really feel very happy :)! But I'm not so bad okay, I don't always disagree with his decisions and force him to follow mine. Since we're both anything anything one, we can adjust to each other's character well C:

7. Fun.

He knows how to have fun and he knows how to make me have fun too :D Things like playing poker with his friends. I've always played poker online but not in real life but that time when I played with his friends I feel that its kinda cool to play in real life LOL. Plus he creates fun for people sometimes as well by joking around C:

8. Disciplined.

When he gambles, he knows when to stop. And other things like smoking, he knows my parents will mind that he smokes, he offers to quit smoking. But I said no, as long as they don't find any ciggs in your pockets or any smell on your shirt and whatsoever. So he told me whenever he comes to my house he won't put his ciggs in his pockets anymore and he won't smoke before coming. Because I know he's serious about me and he don't wanna risk ANYTHING that can spoil our relationship.

9. Considerate.

He's always thinking of others instead of himself first. Because he wants people around him to feel comfortable, especially friends. If our friends wanna do something/have plans already, he'll always go with it first. But if they cancel it halfway then we'll just plan on the spot and if any of our friends suggests something, he'll try his best to put it into our plans as well.

10. Old people.

He always like to make old people happy. LOL. Especially aunties! He know how to talk to them to make them feel happy and reassured. So, I don't have to worry about my ah ma feeling uncomfortable with him C:

11. Balance.

He knows how to balance our relationship with friends and he balances my friends for me too! C: Hahaha. Although sometimes we worry about each other not being able to spend time with our own friends because we both treasure friendship a lot. But we've also reassured each other that we know how to handle and balance friends and relationships. I think we're both quite happy with that C:

12. Taking care of me.

OBVIOUSLY. He takes REALLY good care of me, I swear. Because he's a little more sensitive than most boys, so when my tone changes and all, he can sense it well and he asks if I'm alright C: I'm happy with that. And also, he buys liang cha and mint sweets for me when I had sore throat and he worries when I'm sick. :)

13. Siblings.

He takes care of his siblings well.. And he takes care of mine too. LOL. YES I MEANT SHIRLEY. He talks to her, plays dota with her and he knows how to talk to her and make her happy lol.

14. Protection.

In ANY case, he'll always protect me first. I KNOW that. :) From the fight at Rebel. LOL.

15. Comparison.

FYI, he DON'T compare me to other girls. That's a VERY BIG winning point actually. :) Cause if he does, there's a high chance that I'll feel DAMN sad. :C He takes me for what I am and he reassures me of that. And I feel unique about myself when he does that C:

16. Planning for the future.

He already had plans for his future and he wants to go to a Uni that I want too and he told me that we can go together C: !!! He told me he signed on for 3 years with a salary of 2k per month while he go Uni to get a scholarship :)!

17. Parents.

He's filial to his parents and he talks to mine with ease too. He can make my parents laugh, he can go to the movies with my dad and me, he eats breakfast with his mom every single Sunday morning and he makes sure his parents don't worry about him and he makes sure MY PARENTS don't worry about me when I'm with him too. Plus he told his mom that he'll give her 400$ when he gets his pay!

Like... So hard to find this type of guys nowadays already. If I don't grab him, am I the biggest dumbass idiot in the entire millennium + world + century + ah whatever EVERRRRRRR?!?!

Just wondering.... How does he do all of that?!?! Seriously.. LOL.

So, people out there, what do you think? :)

P.S: Baby, this would be my answer to your brother on last Sunday if I were to really tell him. :)

2011-11-21T09:30:00.002+08:00

Whoa so long never update already.

LOL.

Friday didn't update cause I was busy playing maple :x

HAHAHA.

I don't update on weekends cause I'm together with my boyf.

So its monday again! :)

I'm just gonna wait for those 2 siblings to come and give me work to do...

And meanwhile continue to play maple LOL.

Hahahha.

Does anyone still read my blog anymore?! LOL.

Like no one tag in my tagboard except those stupid spammers =_=..

Maybe I should remove it :o

2011-11-17T10:31:00.002+08:00

Omgosh.

I just realised.

Xx is so cool lol.

She's so daring to scold other bloggers and just say what she wants.

I came across an old video on Youtube about her and Steven Lim in the episode of

Let's Shoot 有话就说, then I went back to 2007 of her blog's archives and read the blog entry lol.

Anyway.

I agree with her.

Steven Lim's disgusting.

He's recently "POPULAR" again because he actually supported the girl who slapped her mum, who's called "Adelynn HoSehBo" on Facebook.

And people start being mean towards him again.

I feel kinda bad but oh well.. This is society for you.

I'm so bored right now I can play maple again.

Oh wait.... I AM. -.-

This tells you how free I really am in the office. Lol.

I'm gonna stop here and go play maple already -_______-

Nothing to do anyway. :C

2011-11-14T10:37:00.002+08:00

Back in the office.

ITS MONDAY. :C

Anyways.

A lot of things have been happening these few days.

Friday - Sunday I was with my boyf.

Getting more and more attached to him omg.

But at the same time he always reassures me that I'll see him on Friday. :)

I still cry before he leaves, and he also feel sad, but no choice la ah. LOL.

I have a lot of things to say to my friends.

But I heard from my sister something.

So I don't want to confront liao. Lol.

Pointless anyway.

Oh yeah, and last night, our SlackerZ clique was talking on facebook chat again.

LIKE YAY, FINALLY.

Cause we quarreled for so long already and thanks to Shie Boon for creating the group last night and posting videos of absolute retardedness during our secondary school days, we kinda reminisced those days and started retarding in our facebook group too LOL.

It was really fun and nice to know that I have them as my friends. :)

But still, sometimes I look at R&B and I feel kinda intimidated because of my academic results.

I calculated my max GPA after internship and FYP, the result is like.... -_-

My dreams of going to NTU/NUS are crushed. Literally.

Last choice will be going to SIM lor.. -.-

Jf told me if he apply for NTU/NUS fail he'll go straight to SIM cause he's using his sign on period in army to get scholarship only.

He say a degree is still a degree in army so he need to get that degree asap.

For me it doesn't really matter as well cause I think I'm gonna go with my dad's path.

I just have to learn whatever he's doing and get a degree and I'll be fine.

Both me and Jf wanna take engineering so we're thinking of going to Uni together.

But I doubt we can do it together lol.

So hard to be put into the same school and everything :/ Just saying.

Plus a few weeks ago my cousin in SIM said NTU/NUS aren't looking at poly grads anymore O_O

Don't know if its true or not. Doubt so anyway.

But if its true then Jf sure can go in alr, I can't -.- lol. Nvm.

If really really really cannot(as in even SIM also can't), then... Private degree lor zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

But should be can la. Jf's friend get 2.8 also can go NTU/NUS liao. :o

Okay enough of that.

Let me summarize Fri-Sun activities.

Friday:

Work till 6, go home wait for people to come back then go Marina Square to eat.

Grandma's birthday Celebration. Supposed to eat Sukiya, but too many people.

So went to eat Sakae Sushi.

Then gonna finish alr, Jf came.

Finish alr, Shirley came.

Then me and Jf went to meet Jas and Huihui.

We went to timbre.

After timbre, Bus 11 home and slacked downstairs first.

Then went home to sleep.

Saturday:

Jf left at 10am to bathe and change then I continued to sleep.

He came back at 2pm++ then I went to prepare to go out.

But then it was raining so we couldn't go out and Shirley jio us to mahjong, 3 people.

Played 1 pot then went out.

WE WET TO EAT KOREAN FOOD.

LIKE OMG FINALLY I GET TO TRY SPICY RICE CAKE.

DUBBOKI(Idk how to spell LOL but I know how to say ok!) :D :D

Ate at Taka there.

After eating we felt sooooo full so we walked to Cathay to catch a movie; Drive.

After buying tickets we walked back to Cold Stone to eat ICE CREAM.

SO NICEEEEEEEE. ^^

After that, watched movie; fucking boring sia =.=

I think in the movie the people in there spoke less than 100 sentences.

Omg la.. -____-

After that went home to sleep, then baby left at 6am+.

Sunday:

He went home to bathe and change and he was supposed to go with me to see my new house with my parents.

So he met me at potong pasir mrt at 12+.

Then went to my new house.

Waited for the contractors, interior designers and relatives to come and take a look.

After everything was done, Daddy drove us to Tampines's Courts.

Then we picked out a new Fridge, Washing Machine, Sofas, had afternoon tea, then went back home.

Rest a while then we went to eat dinner at my Grandma's house!!

I asked my grandma to cook this chicken + alcohol soup for baby.

But end up too much alcohol in it :S lol.

But baby was happy eating homecooked food :)

After that, we went down to NTUC to buy tidbits for him to bring in camp before he booked in.

Then my mum insisted that we fetch him to his camp LOL.

So we did and then went home and sleep already. :D

Yup, so now its monday and I'm feeling soooooooo sleepy in the office. :C

2011-11-10T11:12:00.002+08:00

I'm back in the office again..

SO BORED.

LOL.

Yesterday played mahjong with my sis, Jer and Jevin and his friend.

Jevin lose $ like fuck sia.

1st pot I win money.

Then 2nd pot I lose money.

Walao.

1st pot win $10.

2nd post lose 7$ -_-

Sian.

Lose like ffffuuuuucccccckkkkkk. :C

Anyway.

Went to visit my new house at potong pasir!! :D

Sooooooooo big.

But the rooms sooooooooo small. -.-

Lol. Anyway I wanna move in like ASAP!!

Before New Year!! Haha.

But haven't do all the renovation works yet. -.-

Walao. Anyway.

The Jacuzzi is so shiokkkkkkkkk.

JERSEY SHOREEE. HAHAHA.

Go dip in the jacuzzi with champagne in my hand :D Hahaha.

COOL MAX.

After that we went to visit the fengshui master to ask about our new house.

Then went home to play mahjong, then after that we went to visit my uncle's house because my parents wanna know the interior designer that designed m y uncle's home.

Then they want them to do it for us too.

Wah tired max, reached home like near 12am =_=

Faster go bathe and sleep liao!

This morning come back office liao fucking tired only!~ :(

LOL.

Anyway I'm like damn addicted to one of T-ara's old song - Why are you being like this.

Idk why leh. Just nice song lor. Haha.

&.. I miss my boyf sia.

He can't bring his phone yesterday and today to pulau ubin :(

He went there for OBS. LOL WTF.

So like, 1 day never text him already.

Then today also can't.

Tomorrow I don't know what time he come back from pulau ubin :(

So I'll just have to waitttttt and waittttttttt and wait :(

Nvm its ok :D

I shall be independent! :)

Toodles!

2011-11-08T16:38:00.004+08:00

Wah sleeeeeeeepy max.

In the office now.

Listening to music.

Watching Jersey Shore.

Reading Xavierong's blog.

Apparently, Xav and Steven Lim got into some quarreling thingy in twitter.

So I went to check it out.

LOL.

I'm like..

Aiyoh I dunno la.

Yesterday night my sister jio people come my house play mahjong.

Play until 2+ then in the end, I never win and never lose any money.

NOT EVEN 10 CENTS.

Wtf man. Fucking waste of my time sia.

Could have slept earlier then I won't be so tired now lol.

But its ok cause I had fun last night talking to them.

Those kids are really funny.

Okayyy so I'll briefly talk about what happened during my weekends :)

I had like fucking a lot of fun I SWEAR :D

Most of the time I was with Jf and I'm very happy :)

Then I also spent my friday - Sunday with him and our friends.

We try to keep it as balanced as possible.

As in balance between friends and relationship :)

Friday was my sis's birthday chalet, then we went prawning until 7+..

Jf sent me home then I wanted to have a lunch date with him the next day too, so he had no time to sleep. :(

And I didn't feel sleepy too so we didn't sleep.

But we tahan until like Saturday morning 12pm then cannot tahan already we went to sleep LOL.

Then I woke up at 1.30pm to bathe and change. Omg tired max. Only 1 and a half hours of sleep.

He woke up at 2, then faster prepare and leave house cause I booked the table at 3pm.

So went to have lunch there, then went to his house cause he need to bathe and change.

Then after he prepare already, we went to his friend's house to have some BBQ at potong pasir.

Omg sia we forgot to pay money to that guy then we drank like 6 corona LOL.

I feel so bad lol.

Then Jf went to gamble(AGAIN!) 21, I helped him win money ok!!

I'm his lucky star LOLOLOL. So buay paiseh. Hahaha.

Anyway after that we cabbed to Potong Pasir MRT to get jasmine and huihui to cab to Dbl O.

Cause Saturday night was Peng's birthday celebration at Dbl O.

Cb the fucking graveyard.. If I never 1 shot the entire thing I won't drunk alr lor.

Anyway luckily I not that drunk.

I still remember some parts. Lol.

Plus, I can remember what I drink.

Before 12am we 4 shared 1 jug of Pineapple Rum.

Then 12am already got 1 for 1, me and Jf ordered Lambo.

After that we drank 2 jagger bombs each.

After that I went out to get Wei Peng and the rest of the guys.

While they were inside, I was outside drinking Baileys which Wei Peng brought LOL.

He's so funny he put it in the Ice Mountain bottle HAHAHA.

So stupid sia LOL.

Then after finishing it, smoke 1 stick then go back into Dbl O.

Thenafter a while my sis came and wanted to drink with Wei Peng 1 jagger bomb.

But Peng don't want alr so I drank it for him.

Then after that we also ordered 1 Graveyard each.

After that graveyard.. Omg man.. If I never 1 shot I won't drunk I swear =_=

Only 6 people drank it.

Me, Jf, Jasmine, Peng, Jun Zhi and Nicklaus.

LOL I swear it was sooooooooooo fucking disgusting!!

Ok anyway.

Then Jf sent me home. :)

And we both just K.O.-ed. LOL.

Until the next day morning, Sunday morning.

Jf sleep until like 2pm sia LOL.

He first time sleep for so long.

Plus he got woken up by his friend's phone call.

Not he wanna wake up one. LOL.

He wake up already, then we went to eat downstairs my house, and then go to his house to play poker with his friends!

POKER IS SO FUN I SWEAR.

But can lose so much money omfg.

I see 1 guy win 120$++ .. Scary sia.

Luckily Jf never lose.

But he win a bit only.

I don't have poker's luck :(

I can only help him in 21 LOL. HAHAHA.

After poker we went to eat prata with Jer and Jf's brother.

Then walked to J8 cause Jf wanna send me home.

Then Monday he came over to my house in the afternoon to meet me, went to bugis to eat PEPPER LUNCHHHHHHHHH :D

After that we went to play pool and number ball at amk kpool.

Asked Dylan along in case he always complain say I never jio him go anywhere, even when he stay amk then I go amk also nv jio him -.-

So he came, and we went to meet jf's friends as well.

After playing then we played pool LOL.

Me and Jf like forever competing with each other one leh.

The previous time I can't remember what we compete on.

I asked him what's his favourite soccer team.

He say he don't pick one, he only like those that brings money to him LOL.

So he chose Man U.

As for me, I stayed loyal to Liverpool LOL.

Then previous the score was:

Liverpool - 3

Man U - 2

I think.. If I didn't remember wrongly. LOL. Hahaha.

Then yesterday he changed to Man City cause a few weeks ago Man U VS Man City, the score was 1 - 6 respectively LOL! So he took Man City.

And yesterday's score:

Liverpool - 4

Man City - 3

YAY, like, I wonnnnnnn :D

After that he sent me home and then he went to book in already.

Before he left me I cried :(

I can't believe I cried omg.

Cause its like.. I feel so attached to him for like past 3-4days and now he's not with me liao :(

ARGH.

Kay nvm, shall be contented that he's willing to spend his weekends with me :)

And I'm gonna be patient and wait for him to finish his 9months of OCS, then he can book out everyday :)

2011-11-03T14:43:00.003+08:00

570th post! :D

I'm so boredddddddddddddddddddddddd :<

Like so so so so so boreddddddddd.

In office but not doing anything.

1 of my colleagues got ask my to eat lunch with them but I too paiseh liao.

LOL.Play facebook games also play until sian liao.. How :/

Finally tomorrow is FRIDAYYYYY.

FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAYYYYY.

LOL.

Just now quarrel with some idiot over the stomp issue about the hosehbo thingy.

Lame siaaaa.

K la ciaoz.

I miss my boy :C

2011-11-02T12:42:00.003+08:00

Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh hiiiiiiiiiii!!!

I just re-read my post 1 month ago lol.

I WAS STILL EMO-ING OVER THEODORE.

Cause I thought I would never find another guy better than him.

But guess what?! Someone proved me wrong! :)

Now I'm happily in love with this guy, whom I didn't remember from the first time I met him!

Cause at the point of time I got no impression of him maybe cause he botak HAHAHA.

Then I'm not interested in botak guys lolololol.

The first time I met him was with my Primary 6 friend until now - Jeremy.

He and Jeremy became friends through another guy called Zhao Chyi.

Thennnnnn. We sort of like.. HAHAHA K SHALL NOT DESCRIBE.

Later you all say very mushy or what :x

ANYWAY.

What matters most now is I'm together with him :)

Anddd I'm happy!

Although its the honeymoon period between us now that's why we're so happy,

But I still want us to continue being happy even after the honeymoon period!

For those of you who are still wondering if he's better than Theodore,

1 straight answer - Yes.

You might think that I'm saying this too early because we just started out not long ago,

But I'm pretty confident about this.

Well at least I know I won't have problems dealing with his Dad than Theo's Dad.

Not trying to say that Theo's Dad is badass or what,

But I'm saying that when I was still with him his Dad gave me quite a lot of pressure LOL.

For those of you who know the stories about me and Theo', you'll know. :)

And I think its a fucking great achievement for me to be waiting for my boyfie to book out from camp.

Cause I used to be like.. Very dependent on my boyfs.

But now, maybe because I have more things to do now, I don't know, but still, :D

I think its a baby step for me to being more independent. :)

And I'm more open-minded about girls compared to my previous relationship.

Like srsly.

Even small things like how the girl shouldn't hook another guy's arms in photos and how the guy shouldn't put his arms around a girl's shoulders bothered me back then.

Now, I still mind, but photos are photos, you can't change them lol.

So fuck it, I'm not gonna bother lol.

But I still remember Theo trying to put his arms behind his back because he knew I minded.

And since he's still on my facebook whenever people tag him in photos,

Believe it or not, he still does the same pose. Because he's already used to it.

I explained to him before that people WILL judge you according to how you act, especially when you're already attached.

Then they will talk shit behind your back like "Wtf he's already attached and he's still so close to girls."

Yeah that kinda stuffs. So if you don't want it to happen then don't do it.

If you still do then you'll just hafta suck it up :)

Anyway enough of my bullshits already :D

For now I'm just happy being with my boyfriend, Jian Fa. :)

2011-10-04T00:41:00.002+08:00

K I think I should go back to blogging already.

Although I have nothing much to blog about since my life's not so interesting anymore..

But 1 day 1 post is not a big thing to do, aye..

Anyway.....

Argh I'm too angry to even start writing.

Maybe I deserved all these. :/

AH WELL. WHATEVER. FUCK IT.

2011-09-27T02:28:00.001+08:00

Shit.. I just wrote a hell lot of stuffs here for my ex but it didn't save.. Maybe this is fate.. All I know is.. I'm crying a lot while writing all those memories we had together.. From being a total stranger, to colleagues, friends, couple, and now.. Back to being total strangers again.. I really want time to rewind.. On that day when we broke up, I didn't drop a single tear.. But I've been paying back(is this karma?). I've been randomly crying a lot in some nights... I still see him.. Sitting down on the chair in my room playing my ps3.. And all the memories we had together.. Every single thing.. Does he still remember them as well?.. I hope so.. I have so many things to tell him.. I really do.. But I can't even face him.. If I see him in school I'd walk away.. I don't know what to do.. I still get butterflies in my stomach whenever I see him.. And I still go to cheers often just to get that 0.00000000000001% to see him.. But, who am I kidding.. Hes already moved on. People around me are asking me to move on too but.. I can't.. They ask me to delete our photos and stuffs but I can't.. Sometimes I still use our photo as my msn dp.. I can't do anything now.. I couldbt do anything since 17th december 2010.. Even if I talk to him he'll just treat me as a friend.. The only place he can treat me more than a friend would be.. In my memory.. I really want time to turn back.. If this is a dream, let me wake up please.. I wanna go back to the world where Theodore really exists in my life, and not just someone who exists in my memory..

2011-09-08T14:15:00.001+08:00

Whoah really damn long never update already.

So lazy! LOL.

Recently I'm doing the same old things.

Club and school.

Not much of clubbing now.

We don't club as much as last time already.

The max we club is once per week.

Sometimes once per 2 weeks.

Lol and I'm doing my Major Project now.

After my MP its gonna be SIP(internship) without any holidays in between. :(

15 weeks each.

I'm into week 10 of my Major Project already.

So yup..

And I'm gonna miss the trip to Europe with my family because of this :(

And btw people..

I HAVE MY DRIVING LICENSE!!!!!!!! LIKE FINALLY!! WOO. :D

I'm so proud of myself!! :)

Haha kk update again next time :P

Bye!!

2011-09-02T02:45:00.003+08:00

Wah like a few months never update already lol.

Too lazy, busy and tired.

A lot of things have happened too!

And I'm doing my MP now, so yeah.....

Okay got time then updateeee.

Ciaoz.

2011-09-02T02:45:00.001+08:00

Wah like a few months never update already lol.

Too lazy, busy and tired.

A lot of things have happened too!

And I'm doing my MP now, so yeah.....

Okay got time then updateeee.

Ciaoz.

2011-07-11T21:58:00.002+08:00

Wah 6 days never update again.

LOL.

These few days in school, do MP.

Still ok lor but I quite scared we are behind time. :/

Other than that, normal clubbing nights, then always busy in the afternoon one.

And now I don't know why but I'm so damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

ADDICTED

to Kpop. Especially Big Bang, SHINee & B2ST(& a little bit of 2PM)!

I can just watch their youtube videos the whole dayyyyyyyy!!

Omgggggggg. Jialat.

They are just soooo damn cute/handsome, I swearrrrrrrrr.

Hehehe.

K baizxc! :3

2011-07-05T01:30:00.003+08:00

WAH!!

1 WEEK ++ NEVER UPDATE LIAO.

LOLOLOL.

Shit.

Okok just some quick updates ok! :D

- 28th June -

Decided to go to grooming lessons!

Hehehehe.

I brought my 2 dogs there to get groomed!

They gave me so much problems man =.=

In the end I got so fucking pissed, I swear.

Then at night still have to ask my dad to pick me up and go back home to change my shoes.

Cause I had to rush to driving lesson.

Wapiang eh.

DULAN SIA.

But the driving instructor was nice that night.

A bit fierce but he gave a lot of tips. Haha.

- 29th June -

Went to school for my MGPG presentation.

Then went home, changed and then went to have dinner with our normal clubbing group.

Me, Kenneth, Sam, Huihui and Jas.

After dinner, huihui left and we...

Went to clubbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!

REBEL :D :D

Saw Jian Ting there, danced with him and blah.

Then got another guy wanted to dance with me lol.

And he took my number after the club.

- 30th June -

I think I stayed at home the whole day.

Almost died of boredom.

- 1st July -

Went to school from 3-4.30 =.=

Got MP briefing. Sian daoooooooo~

After that I went out with my friend for the whole day.

- 2nd July -

- 3rd July -

Met up with Jas & Huihui at Cityhall.

Went to Marina Square for KBOX!!

Then got 1 guy ask for number lols.

After that we went to eat Manhatten Fish Market :3

SOOOOOOOOO YUMMY! :D

After that we decided to chill at TIMBRE!

I opened a bottle of vodka there.

And then went home after that.

Cause it was late and I was spooked by Samuel.

STUPID SAMUEL!!! D:

- 4th July -

Sunday lo~~

Pei my dad go Expo Hall 5 for a car exhibition.

Seeing cars drift and etc. OMG!

TOTALLY. IMPRESSED.

There were a lot of GTRS(R35)!!

Then at night went downstairs my house to slack with:

Jason

Jasmine

Huihui

And Jasmine&Huihui's secondary school senior.

Until 11+ then go home bathe and use comp a while.

FOUND OUT THAT JIAN TING IS ACTUALLY ZHU MIMI'S SON.

WTF MANNNNNN.

I DANCED WITH A CELEBRITY'S SON WTFOMGZXC!!

Then after that I pig-ed. :D

- 5th July -

First day of school, boring ah.

Project group don't really suck. They are quite funny! Lol.

Make me leader. Walao eh.

And a lot of details not given by the stupid professor at NUS yet.

Waiting to confirm the blardy trip to the stupid mangrove.

Everyday 9-6pm like that, will die sia.

Oh and I don't know why today I see a lot of EVOS! ^^

Ok nothing much alr. Bai LOL.

2011-06-27T19:17:00.002+08:00

WOO.

I'm back on both Tumblr and Blogger!

I'm more active on Twitter too.

I didn't used to do all these very often lol.

Only blogger. Haha.

Anyway, these few days, things have been quite hectic.

I know more people already and clubbing was usual!

Michelle came to join us back too! :D

And I've finally booked my driving practical test(Traffic Police, TP for short).

Then I went to sgcarmart.com and found my dream car.

I don't want z4 anymore!

I WANT AN EVO 9!

http://www.sgcarmart.com/used_cars/info.php?ID=179745&DL=1000

But my dad say, the price quite expensive for an old car :(

So he say buy new one better.

But buy new one then wanna modify it, very expensive leh.

This one old already but modified before.

But see how la, depends. :D

Take a good look at the car.

ITS SO FUCKING SEXY.

The modified engine is already HKS leh.

But I don't really know the models of the engines and blah yet lol.

Although the brakes ain't brembo but its okay, I can change it :D

Haha.

See this!
"Perfect Combination Of JUN Engine And HKS3037SPL! With 500 Plus HP And 600 Plus NM Of Torque, Feel It Pull From 3500rmp All The Way To 7800rpm!"

Feel it pull from 3500 to 7800 sia!

Wah like nice!

And the exhaust is Fujitsubo FULL TITANIUM exhaust k!

Means from 10km away if I rev my car, you can hear it!

Like damn loudddddd onlyyyyyyyy :DDDDD

I see that website I always become fucking high LOL.

Okay lets not talk about cars anymorez.

Recently I met up with Ghost.

Sitting in his car is so cool man.

He owns a Subaru Impreza TS.

And he got modify stuffs also.

DAMN I'm so inspired by his car LOL.

I'm suffering from diarrhea these few days :(

Keep shitting and shitting and shitting!

K other than that, nothing much to update. LOL.

Oh yeah.

Still have.

This morning I went for my BSCG Presenttion.

Kena fucked by 3 lecturers.

All of them are fuckers.

Kkthxbai.

2011-06-24T12:18:00.002+08:00

Wrote this as one of my fb's status:

"wcys, aiewwfytnm, iasbydc, yocay. -.- misnly, tstfmttb. miabomijsal. taogotbicy. pdtmfg. in, iwly. ikisnftwbwantybijchi :/ idekwifss. missmffdbitl. ihywkwigtbsydaypnw. :("

Gonna "decode" it now LOL.

Why can't see you see, all I ever wanted was for you to notice me, I am sick but you don't care, you only care about yourself. -.-

Maybe I should not like you, there's still time for me to turn back.

Maybe I am blind or maybe I just suck at love.

There are other guys out there but I chose you.

Please don't take me for granted.

If not, I will leave you.

I know I should not feel this way because we are not together yet but I just can't help it :/

I don't even know why I'm feeling so sad.

Maybe I should stop myself from falling deeper before its too late.

I hope you will know what I'm going through but sadly, you don't and you probably never will.

2011-06-22T01:31:00.002+08:00

WAH!

So long never update already!

Jialat ahhhhh LOL.

Okay so the previous time I updated was the 16th, on the Thursday last week.

Well, me, Jasmine and Huihui wanted to go to a pub, so we went.

We had trobule deciding which pub to go since Top Bar closed down.

But we remembered Cailing was working, which was Jab1.

So we went there. And I opened a bottle of martell.

Then halfway Kenneth say he book out already, so I asked him to join.

And he cabbed down to Boat Quay.

He opened a tower. And Samuel said he wanted to join too.

So he cabbed down too.

I got drunk and lots of drama and shit, crying, shouting and blah.

LOL a lot of funny moments.

Jasmine went to the toilet and knocked on the door while I was inside.

I just opened the door and shouted "FUCK LA WHAT YOU WANT?!"

Then before she could answer "I just wanted to see if you are okay or not",

I shouted back "CANNOT WAIT IS IT?!"

And then I ran down the stairs back to the first floor.

Like, wth? LOL. I totally had no memory of it.

And I also cried when I lost the game of pool to Samuel.

Its like.. Wtf? And I cried when I sang a song.

I vomitted etc.

And then Kenneth sent me home.

Before I reached home I called my sister.

And told her "WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!! Come to the lift and pick me up!!!! Now!!! NOWWWW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!"

And she did and I reached home, died on my bed, and after a while, I shouted on my bed.

"Shirleyyyy!!!!!! PLASTIC BAG!!!!!!! FASTER!!!!!!!! PLASTIC BAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG"

And she was afraid that I would wake my parents, so she ran to get one.

Then when she was trying to wake me up to get the plastic bag from her,

She kept tapping my shoulders and asking me to wake up.

After 5 minutes of trying, I said "Never mind I don't need already"

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

And then before she went to sleep, she heard my phone ring.

It was a text.

I was holding onto my phone while I was sleeping(HAHAHAHAHA),

So she wanted to take it and see who was it from.

But before her hands could reach my phone, I woke up and read the text myself.

But I didn't bother replying and continued sleeping again.

Before I fell asleep I murmured "aeroignoisoergisoerg" and she couldn't understand.

So she said "HUH?"

Then I repeated again.

And she "HUH??" the 2nd time.

This time I was fed up and I just swing my arm and said "arggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".

HAHAHAHA So funny.

The above stories are what Jasmine and my sis told me when I woke up the next day.

Hahaha I don't even remember anything man.

Its like I was possessed or something hahaha.

So I woke up on the Friday morning and then I had a MAJOR hangover.

It was so bad that I had no strength to get out of my bed and walk to my bathroom.

In the end I did and I took a bath for like 30 minutes omg.

I was trying to vomit(while I was bathing) because I felt like there was still a lot of alcohol in my stomach.

In the end I didn't. But after I got out of my bathroom and then sat down on my chair, I felt it coming.

I looked for the nearest place to vomit and..

I vomited outside my window.. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

Damn disgusting, my gastric juice all came out.

I rested at home the whole day and then went for dinner at Plaza Sing's KFC.

Together with Huihui Jasmine and Kenneth again.

Then headed over to Rebel~

We didn't drink! Cause I got driving lesson the next day.

Felt so tired after club.

Cause never drink really damn sian. Keep yawning!

Samuel and Brandon joined us, as well as Jasmine's senior and his friend.

Michelle came halfway too! HEHE.

So long never see her already! Haha.

So club, then go home.

Saturday, got driving lesson and blah.

Then went to club again.

This time got drink. And drank a lot LOL.

And Kenneth was like semi-drunk I think.

Totally omg la. But it was fun.

We drank the King Robert's vodka. 2 bottles before club.

Then got police raid but club didn't resume.

So we went to drink 1 more bottle again. Lol.

Then cabbed home and etc.

Sunday I stayed at home.

Monday got school and driving lesson.

Tuesday got 9-5pm workshop.

Then after school g home, nap a while then go MArina Square EAT STEAMBOAT AGAIN.

OMG FUCKING FAT NOW.

NEED TO EAT NO MORE THAN 2 MEALS PER DAY FROM NOW.

And today is Wednesday. Shall update again later.

My later = a few days.. LOL.

And shall upload pictures too :D

Ciaoz.

2011-06-16T17:00:00.002+08:00

In school now!

Haven't blogged for 4 days again. Lol.

Nothing much to update anyway.

Haha. Cause I have just been going to school from Monday to today(Thursday).

Except that I went for my driving lessons this morning.

Thats all.

And I actually broke down yesterday.

Because I was thinking of my ex again.

And I called my sister and Jasmine called me too.

Jasmine made a good point though.

She said that if I'm the one breaking down at home, who knows, he might be outside laughing and enjoying himself.

So I shouldn't cry for him.

And another friend of mine sent me some pictures.

Like those in my tumblr's blog.

Words of encouragement/inspiration.

They really cheered me up.

Thanks to those who were there for me when I needed someone. :)

Love you all.

2011-06-12T14:19:00.003+08:00

Wah 4 days never update le.

LOL. Keep forgetting :(

Lets continue from the previous post.

So that day after the movie, me, jas and my sis went to my sister's ex workplace to drink.

We opened 1 tower and jas left early, at 2am.

Me and Shirley left when the pub was about to close too.

We cabbed to Jurong to find Jerry & Sebas. -.-

They paid for our cab fare :D

20+$ LOL.

Went home at about 5+ or 6+.

They paid for our cab fare too. LOL.

We just sat down and talked. So long never slack already omg.

I still think slacking is used for xdds and xmms.

But now I think of it, still ok leh.

I think slacking once in a while is good.

Because now everyone is so caught up in their own life that no one has time to sit down and talk anymore.

Then Wednesday morning wake up, went for the appointment thingy again at National Heart Centre.

Then the doctor say need to do 2 more tests. One on next Monday and another one in July.

One is the echo scan or something like that.

The other one is like this 2 weeks device thingy =.=

Ok nvm. Lol. Also don't know whats that.

After that, daddy fetched me home. On the way home, one of my brothers texted me.

He asked me how am I and etc. And he thought that I was still with my ex.

So when he asked me "Break le ah?" how I wished I can say no.

When I was typing, 98.7fm played the song "Here with you - 3 doors down".

Everytime I hear this song, it reminds me of him.

Because of him, I went to listen to this song cause he said that it was nice.

I still remember him saying that to me when we were playing pool at Katong.

And everytime I play pool, I think of him.

Argh. Then I cried. :l Luckily my dad didn't see.

I went home and laid down on my bed. And I kept replaying the song. :'(

Other than that, I just nua at home the whole day.

Thursday went to school to do work. Thats all.

Then friday I went for my driving lessons. And went home, changed and went to eat STEAMBOAT!

SukiYa at Marina Square hehehe.

Met up with the 2 Js - Jason & Jasmine.

Eat until baobao then went to Rebel :D

Met Kenneth at the entrance and then as usual, put stuff in locker, buy drinks, drink then go back dance.

But Jasmine was drunk so I kept on holding her and then sent her to cab.

Then when I want to go back in, I realised she rubbed my chop off.

Then the bouncer didn't let me in. Was so damn pissed off man.

So we had no choice but to go home :/

Saturday I skipped my driving lesson and went to meet Samuel and his friend, Wayne, with Jasmine.

Watched Hangover Part 2 the second time LOL.

Still very funny.

After that we had Long John's for dinner and went to Skygarden to slack.

Talked about a lot of stuffs~ :D Cool chilling session actually.

We just lacked of drinks. Like alcohol or beer or even non-alcoholic drinks.

4 of us and we chatted like.. So noisy. Like supermarket. LOL.

Then Samuel wanted to go ph with us so he went to Top Man to buy long pants LOL.

And then Wayne sent us off to ph at 7-11 and he went home.

We went to ph, queued and blah. Got our stuffs, waited for more people to come, signed them in and etc.

Then went to drink, danced, clubbed, blahhhhh.

And then went home. :D Yay. Lol.

Took some photos with Jasmine but its on her phone so I'll have to wait for her to upload it so I can "steal" it. Hehe.

Kk for now, ciaoz~

I type this until my mee become dry already. LOL.

2011-06-08T19:23:00.002+08:00

Okayyyyyy quick post.

Movie yesterday with a group of guys we knew at the event on Sunday, at Powerhouse.

We were supposed to watch a movie at 7, X men at Cineleisure.
We girls arrived early and we rushed down and all we know what that all the boys were late.
So we ate dinner while waiting for them. Decided to catch the 8.50pm movie instead.
But hell, they reached super late, the tickets were sold out, they kept the girls walking up and down to find them.
Irritating max, I swear. We, as in the girls, were like cursing all the way
In the end we caught another movie at 9:55.
They made us go up and down in cineleisure to find them, what the hell man.
My girlf had to be seperated from us to find the entire group of boys.-.-
And when she found them she called me and I went to join them. they didn't even talk to us.
The girls were the one who decided which movie to watch. And we were so pissed we just queued without asking the guys what show they wanna watch.
So while queuing one of them came up to us and asked us to help them buy their movie tickets. They gave us the money, and then they left for dinner, throwing the girls there
First Impression: -100%
Irritating level: 100%
Chance of going out with them again: -500%

ROAR. =.=

Update again later~

Lazy to write now haha.

2011-06-06T15:12:00.003+08:00

Wah CMI BLOGSKIN!! =.=

But I like the blue colour with black.

Walao eh my picture is like..

Cui sia. Totally out of alignment. :(

Anyways.

Last night at PH was quite awesome.

Except for the fact that me and Jasmine got scolded.

By some fucking malay bouncer who thought we offered Shirley to drink.

But we didn't even do anything sia.

And except for the fact that me and Jasmine got STUCK in between 1 whole group of boys.

They formed a stupid circle and trapped me and Jasmine inside.

And they start doing things like HUMPING.

Like, WTF?! Then me and Jasmine was like 'OHMYGODDDDDD'.

Then I think Xingjie saw and he pulled me out and I pulled Jasmine.

Then those boys like wanna fight like that =.=

But I stopped them lah.

Stupid la lame sia. Like that only wanna fight alr. -_-

Then nvm, we continued dancing then like after a while those boys came back again.

Got 2 black shirt guys keep hugging and touching me.

Or rather, trying to touch me.

Then I keep pushing them away but they just continue. -_-

I was like 'Can you two hump each other instead, tyvm.' in my mind.

Oh then we got to know 2 guys.

Random guys LOLOL.

Then they bought us drinks at Food Republic.

After that we went back to ph and danced again.

THEN THE 2 BOYS COME AGAIN.

Wapiangzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Then the 2 random guys send me and jasmine home cause 1 of them got car.

I'm happy that I didn't end up drunk and in another guy's house when I wake up. -.-

But I'm kinda pissed at myself cause I didn't manage to wake up on time this morning for school.

Fuck. I put 3 alarms and I heard none.

Had to be woken up by Midzi's call. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ hate myself.

:( I'm so sorry to my entire BSCG team!!

I love you all!! :( :(

2011-06-05T15:09:00.002+08:00

HIIIIIIIIII :D

Here to blog again!

Picture above is taken on Friday, at Rebel's toilet :D

The entire toilet only got the 3 of us! Haha.

Camwhored like siao and this is the nicest picture! Hehe.

Rebel was fun on Friday :D

Was dancing with 3 other girls. Haha.

And JR said that there were a lot of guys who wanted to dance with us lol.

Was a bit high, hehe.

Then Saturday nua at home whole day sia.

Fucking boring :(

And then at night went to catch 2 midnight movies.

Kungfu Panda 2 and Hangover 2.

Movie ended at 3.15 and then cabbed down to ph.

Then partied to 4.45 :D

Didn't drink, not high and super hot :(

Someone offered me to drink! Thanks :D

Although I don't know who you are. LOL.

Then cabbed home.

Tonight gonna parteh again :D

But underage event LOL.

2011-06-03T01:22:00.003+08:00

Wah tiring day..

Stupid lo, I go to NHC then the doctor remove the device.

10minutes later they say "You can go home already".

WTH. :( Like waste time sia.

Then I went home and waited for Midzi to wake up.

Wait until I fell asleep.

The weather was so hot today that I was actually sweating in my sleep.

I couldn't take it anymore,

So I just went to bathe.

After I bathe, I couldn't sleep anymore.

So I used to computer for awhile.

I went to YouTube, and then suddenly there were a lot of emotional songs.

& There I was.. Feeling so depressed that I just broke down..

A while later, Midzi texted me and said he's waiting for the bus to school now.

So I left the house and met him in school.

I couldn't even do work properly with so many people spamming my texts.

So I've decided to give myself a break today by not replying any texts.

Did a bit of work, and then went home at 7.

Went home, put my bag and went to Bugis Junction with my sis.

We got our nails done! YAYYYYYYYY~

Happiieegurl_92!

My nails are pretty nao :D :D

But the girl doing my nails sucks. Kinda pissed me off.

In the end, because she was so slow, her superior had to take over her to do my nails.

And because she is bad at nail painting, her superior had to brush it up for her.

By adding 1 more colour to my nails :D Yayyyyyy. Free stuffs LOL.

Paid and then went home.

Had dinner, and used lappy until now.

Tired liaoxzc. Super sleepy.

Tmr going shopping with Jasmine! Yay! :D

Then most probably going Rebel in the night!

Hurray. FRIDAY FRIDAY~ GONNA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY~

Cheers :P

2011-06-01T23:35:00.003+08:00

HIIIIIIIIIII :D

Just changed my new blogskin! Yay!

I spent like 4 hours doing it.

Wtfxczcczcxczxczxczczc.

But that stupid photobucket shit can't work.

Cause some of the photos are too big.

But bleah, whatever :P

When I got time then do :D

This morning was quite a sad one for me and my friends.

We had to send munyee off.

We took some last pictures with her though..

Most of us were really shagged cause we had to wake up like super early.

And the funny thing was, when she was about the depart,

Me and guoyi were tearing already.

So as she stood at the departure hall's gate, gy & me walked away.

Because we didn't want to create drama with all our sobbings.

But in the end, we ended up walking towards the gate too -.-

And we cried as she entered the gate :(

After that, I went to the National Heart Centre to install this 24-hours heartbeat monitoring device thingy.

Gonna remove it at 8am tomorrowxzc.

I got started on my MGPG, LIKE YAY, SERIOUSLY.

With the help from Tricia. OMFGXZC THANK YEWSX.

I'm gonna continue doing it tomorrow in school.

Gonna meet midzi at 1.

Back on track in school, YAY.

As for relationship wise, keeping secrets for myself!

Hehehehe.

But I still agree that there are A LOT of weird guys out there =.=

I SWEAR.

Oh yeah and right here & right now I really wanna apologise to 1 person.

Because of what I did on impulse and without thinking,

I hurt him unintentionally and I'm really sorry.

I had no intention of hurting him at all and NEVER in the world would I want to do that.

I didn't know what I was doing at that certain point of time.

So I wanna say, I'm sorry :( !

Oh & I SWEAR I'M STILL SINGLE. :D

Told you I'm not ready means I'm not ready.

Kay, gonna sleep like real soon.

Needa wake up early tomorrow!

P.S: I love all the photos in the slideshow thingy! OMG! :D

2011-05-30T20:57:00.002+08:00

Whoa its been damn long since I've updated!

Have been clubbing a lot these few weeks LOL.

But no worries, I'm back on track in school :D!

My life has been quite happening now.

And it made me realised how innocent a person can be and then they just SNAP.

& Turn into devils. Creepy much.

Well. Ever since the last post.

Its still gonna be about relationships.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I don't want a boyfriend.

So guys, kindly fuck off if you don't wanna wait.

I don't even see anything in me thats worth something to wait.

Lol call it low self-esteem or whatever, but honestly, thats what I really think it is.

It sucks to have someone in mind but you're not ready yet.

Really sucks. Because I'm so afraid of everything.

Afraid of being hurt.

Afraid of being controlled.

Afraid of being restricted.

Afraid of breakups.

Afraid of everything.

Afraid that my life would change.

Afraid that my studies would be affected.

Afraid that history would repeat itself - Crying every night.

Or.. More like a phobia of relationships.

I still need more time to let go of my ex I guess.

I just saw him last week in school.

Everytime I see him, all I wanna do is walk away quickly and wish that he didn't see me.

I don't know what to do if he comes over and starts talking to me again.

I'll probably be nervous and still get butterflies in my stomach.

And to be very honest, if he comes back into my life, I won't think twice and accept him..

Sad. Very sad.

Confused, troubled and heartbroken(after so long, yes, I'm still heartbroken.)

2011-05-22T15:40:00.002+08:00

FUCK. MY. LIFE.

Fuck this SAI KANG.

Seriously fuck you, saiKANG.

I'm damn bloody traumatized BECAUSE OF YOU.

You really make me hate you so damn much, you know?

After I heard about everything you did.

& I'm not the only victim.

Come on man, you hit on any drunk girls and bring them home?

In the cab still wanna touch them even if you're not their boyf?

EVEN BOYFRIENDS DON'T DO THAT.

& Come on, you think I believed you when you told me things like.

"She's the special one, I really love her a lot" and your bullcrap?

You probably said that to a lot of girls already.

And seriously, with your saiFACE of yours, you probably won't make it my top 100 'worst guys'.

Oh yeah just another extra info; YOUR KISSING SKILL = SHIT.

Probably because of that saiLIPS of yours. Disgusting ttm. Worst kiss ever in my life.

Putting that aside.

I'm thinking about relationships again.

No, I'm saying I still don't want a relationship.

'Thinking about relationships' as in. I'm still looking at potential guys around me.

And yeah, no one hit my 'ideal guy' list already.

If yes, we also not close anymore, so its like, what for think about it, right..

Its wasting my energy, brain cells and time.

I feel that its good for me to tire myself out.

The kind of feeling when you hit your bed and just knockout.

You don't have time to think about anything else.

Even on buses, I'm tired, I don't need to think, cause I'll just sleep on the bus.

Not like last time. I think and think and think and think.

At anywhere, anytime, and as long as my mind is empty, it will just automatically think about stuffs.

But now not anymore, cause I'm too tired and I wanna sleep. Anywhere, anytime possible.

Good eh ;D

2011-05-11T11:47:00.002+08:00

Fuck.

I need. To. Vent. It. Out.

What's wrong with these guys seriously?!

At first when you know them, they talked to you and etc.

And then when you go out with them, they start to hold your hands and waist.

But you're not even their girlfriends!

And now they DEMAND that you text them first?

They ask questions like 'You didn't text me for 5 days. What's this?'

What kinda bullshit is this man.

This happened between 1 guy and me and now we're arguing about it.

He's asking me why I didn't text him for 5 days and if its over.

COME ON, WHAT'S OVER? WE DIDN'T EVEN START IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Fuck you man.

I told him CLEARLY that I'm not ready for a r/s yet because I'm still not over my ex.

And he always get pissed when I talk about my ex.

Like. What the hell? Who the fuck is he? He's not even my boyfriend.

He have no rights to ask me to stop talking about him or get pissed, y'know.

And 1 more thing that I have to admit.

I am indeed afraid to get into a r/s because of my previous one.

So I'm kinda pushing people away from me now and avoiding them as much as possible.

And also giving them lotsa excuses when they ask me out or talk about relationships.

I know I'm selfish to do that and I'm gonna hurt a lot of people, but to me, I think its more like a self-defence thing.

I do it not to hurt others but to protect myself from being hurt again.

And honestly, none of them, ok probably except one, is close to my ideal guy.

I don't like guys who haven't been through NS.

I feel that guys who are out of NS already has 1 lesser problem to deal with.

Most guys who are in NS are single for a reason.

& Once they're out of NS, I believe they are more stable than those who haven't been through it.

And I'm no longer looking for guys who are "sweet", "caring", "kind" and etc.

I'm looking at what they're doing. Their jobs. Their educational level and etc.

Of course they have to be sensitive and understanding.

But no, I'm not looking for a boyfriend now.

I have no time and I'm tired, ok?

If I'm gonna have a boyfriend and I have no time for him then its gonna be a problem.

Even if I have time for him, I'm tired of being the insecure girlfriend who gets jealous easily.

I am still young. Let me grow up. I need to get over those insecure stuffs.

Gonna be late for class now. Peace out.

2011-05-04T01:25:00.002+08:00

I haven't been sleeping well for the past few days.

I don't have enough sleep.

I'm super tired..

I can fall asleep anytime as long as its comfortable for me to.

Omg. Sigh.

And I don't know why but all of a sudden,

I thinking about my past relationship again.

I always think of it at night and I can't go to sleep properly because of it.

I'm so screwed..

Because of it, I cry whenever I think of it.

And so many things remind me of it.

Simple things like watching a movie. Like how he would hug you while watching the movie and how you love the way he holds you, how secure you feel when you're lying on his chest and nothing else in this world can replace that feeling.

Simple things like having dinner with your friend and suddenly he comes to your mind and you reminiscence the way you two had dinner together and all the laughing moments.

I always thought those people who said all those mushy and cheesy things above are liars.

But I'm experiencing it myself now and its terrible.

Its really really very sad.

Its funny how I hate to be reminded of all these and I really hope I don't have to see him again, but sometimes that small little part of me is doing just the opposite and it doesn't wanna give up.

Its like I don't want to see him again because seeing him breaks my heart but sometimes in school or anywhere we have been to before, I would think "Hey will he be there? Will I see him?". But clearly, I know its impossible already. Who am I kidding anyway? Right?

This just simply sucks.. Its been about 5 months now and its still hurts as much as before. I always hope my 'next one who comes along' can take away this feeling. But when will 'my next one' come? I've already promised myself; no relationship till I graduate. And I've pretty much sorted out the kind of qualities I want from my partner. Its not gonna be easy but I won't give up searching for my next one. Alright. Emo time now. Peace out. \m/

2011-04-25T23:27:00.001+08:00

Honestly speaking..

I'm very scared.

Of Saturday's checkup.....

I hope I'll be fine..

2011-04-25T22:51:00.002+08:00

Its been a long time since I've blogged! :(

I'm feeling so depressed now that I need to blog and say some things that I haven't been saying to a lot of people.

I should do this before I break down.

I'm not sure if they will read it but I'm just gonna write it down anyway.

This might even be a medium for them to know how I really feel deep down in my heart.

With no bad intentions & just a pure heart.

A LOT of things have happened.

I just have a few things to say to some people.

To you:

I'm glad you're back into my life and now. Just to let you know, I missed you loads :)

To you:

Thank you for being there for me and making me believed in something that I never thought I would believe in. Thank you for being such a good sister. Thank you for being there for me when I needed someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. I love you! :)

To you:

Please take care of yourself. Now that so many things have happened between us and we don't talk anymore, I just hope and wish you all the best. :)

To you:

You are enlisting soon. We don't talk anymore but just to let you know, you have been a very good friend and I mean it. Thank you for sending me home after every club event and I appreciate that a lot. Hope to see you soon. At least before you enlist. :)

To you:

Thank you for talking to me on that day when no one else did. I really appreciate it a lot and I'm glad that we are still friends. You are a good sister. See you soon :)

To you:

Thank you for entering my life. Because of you, I know what I want in my partner. And I know I'm never gonna be the girl for you & I wish I have the courage to tell you everything about me so that you don't have to waste your time on me. But I really don't have the courage to & I still think that we are not close enough yet. I have so many things I want to tell you but I'm so afraid of all the disappointments you're gonna get after I tell you everything about me. Because I know what kind of qualities and personality, character, values and everything in your partner. But I really have no courage and I don't know how to deal with this. I am really sorry.. Because I feel that you are the person that I have let down the most.

To you:

Please don't waste your time on me anymore. You are still young. I know you're waiting for NS. Please go ahead with your life and do something meaningful. Like get a job. :) You will definitely meet the girl thats worth your time and effort. I never meant for any of these to happen between us.

To you:

Don't quarrel with your girlfriend anymore. The last slacking session I had with you was awesome. Just chill and think of how to deal with the situation, ok? :)

To you:

You have been the best brother in my entire life. I have never regretted knowing you. Stay in my life ok! You're enlisting soon too right? Take care yeah! :)

To you:

I haven't been seeing you for months! & Even talk! I'm going to miss you a lot when you migrate! A lot a lot a lot a lot! Come back and see us soon, okay? I love you! :)

To you:

Although we quarreled and have thus drifted apart, I just want to tell you that you are still my friend. But I also want to tell you that sometimes, you are irritating -.- LOL. I shall not state the reason here though.

2011-04-13T16:21:00.001+08:00

I saw him.. I saw him yesterday at ion. It felt as if my heart broke again. I only saw him for a second and it's hurting till now. It hurts so bad.. Even after 4 months. It hurts. So bad. The only reaction I ha when I saw him was 'omg' and I just kept saying that. All the memories that were meant to be buried deep into my brain and heart, was being exposed again. So many flashbacks.. It still hurts. Till now.

2011-04-10T12:41:00.002+08:00

This is weird.
Everytime I get drunk, I CRY.

What the hell!?

Anyway last night at the pub I was drunk and yeah, I cried.

And then I think I passed out for a while on the couch and when I woke up,

There was a fight right in front of me. -.-

And the reasons for crying?

I don't know man. I just broke down right in front of everyone.

Weird huh.

This sucks, I hate to be drunk. Lol.

I don't wanna talk about the rest.

I'm just a messed up girl.

I hate my pasts. I'm not proud of what I've done and I wish I can turn back time.

I'm a Daddy's girl who gets pampered a lot.

I'm a girl no one should be with.

2011-04-01T12:26:00.003+08:00

Shall update while I'm on my way to the driving centre. Been a while since I've updated.

A lot of things have happened within these few days and it really sucks to the max. My heart is really broken :(..

I'm also having quite a number of family problems lately. Argh. Because of my mum..

And having problems in the grooming school.. And driving lessons also quite fucked up. Gonna have my FTT soon and I haven't even start studying. I'm so scared I'll fail.. I dreamt about going to FTT without any preparations at all. Shit.

Seriously stressed up ttvfm. But I'm lucky I have all my awesome friends with me to help me go through this stage in life. And without any doubt if they need me, I can assure them I'll be there for them too. That's if they wanna tell me their problems lol.

I'm feeling like shit nowadays. It's like I can't even feel my heart anymore. It's so bad that sometimes I still feel like.. Suiciding(omg don't kill me guys)! Argh.. I feel stupid.. Super stupid. I need someone to understand how I feel and share the pain with me cause it's quite unbearable.

Oh yeah I haven't been eating enough :( saving up money for that $700 dog. I really want it ALOT. And if I don't buy it quick, someone else is gonna buy her..

Aiyah. I have so many things on my stupid mind right now that I dont know which should be the correct feeling I should feel.

2011-04-01T12:26:00.001+08:00

I wish you were here.

2011-03-26T21:30:00.003+08:00

Yo peepos. Back from Genting.

New Achievement Unlocked: Tried all rides in Genting.

New Achievement Unlocked: Won a bear from Sharp Shooter game.

New Achievement Unlocked: Smoked a cigar.

New Achievement Unlocked: Watched a movie in Genting.

New Achievement Unlocked: Clubbed in Genting.

New Achievement Unlocked: Went overseas with friends.

Yay. Lol.

Other than that, watched the magic show, sing k and etc.

Had fun, basically.

On the other hand I'm emotionally tired. & Physically too, actually.

I might faint due to exhaustion. LMAO.

So friends, be careful when you guys go out with me okay.

If I faint suddenly, you should know what's wrong. HAHAHA.

Not gonna explain too much on this though. Argh.

I'm quite stressed also actually.

I have my pet grooming lessons, my driving lessons, and I have to plan out my week every Sunday.

And I get a lot of headaches from doing that.

I'm also missing out a lot on going clubbing and going out with friends.

For example, boon texted me today and asked me if I wanna go out.

But I was at my pet grooming school :(

I'm also stressed about whether I should take part in this year's grooming competition.

& this year is my last year in Poly.

I don't wanna screw it up, cause I'm having my internship, a.k.a attachment & my major project.

Its gonna affect my GPA a hell lot and its my last and only chance to pull it up.

Its 2.9 now and I wanna reach at least 3. :(
Stressed ttm.

Relationship-wise, not gonna talk about it.

I still need a lot more time to forget things.

I'm falling sick too. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I guess driving lessons and pet grooming lessons are the only ones who can numb me from thinking so much.

I should probably drown myself in them and not complain so much.

.. At least till school starts..

2011-03-22T01:03:00.002+08:00

Okay I seriously have no freaking idea why the hell my tagboard is spammed with all those websites from people who are supposedly 'bots'.

I didn't press their websites cause I scared its virus or something lol x.x

Anyway its been a uber long time since I've blogged. Like really. Lol.

From 10th to 13th March I was like basically wasting my own time and rotting at home. LOL.

OR like club, go out with friends to slack or something.

Then from 14th onwards I went to 'school'.

I took up pet grooming as a course during this 2 months of holidays.

Basically I go from 1pm to 8pm everyday.

Its a $4k course which is like, whenever I want to go to 'school', I go.

As in I can make my own time for it.

But I've decided to chiong this course during this 2 months because I'm very free,

& If possible, I want to take part in a competition held every year.

Its going to be in July or August, so if I don't chiong till school starts,

I really won't have time.

If I chiong now and I learn all the basic things, then I can still go to 'school' on weekends to practise.

So yup, decided to go for it. Lol.

I have also resumed my driving lessons quite frequently,

like whenever there is a free slot, I will go.

But the topping up of the cash thing is giving me quite a big problem. =|

I also wanna stop clubbing so frequently already because something happened to me on my last clubbing night.

Which was last Wednesday, 16/03.

It scared me quite a bit and of course, I don't want it to happen again.

Okay it doesn't make sense. I'm scaring myself. Ah whatever :(

I'm going malaysia tomorrow (the date is wrong cause its after 12am already) and coming back on the 25th.

This would be the first time I'm going overseas with my friends!

Although its genting only, LOL. But nevertheless, still my first time.

Another thing thats giving me headache right now is the clashing of lessons.

My pet grooming and lessons and my driving lessons are always crashing.

& my mum has been giving me quite a fair bit of stress too.

Whenever I go for my driving lessons she'll ask me why didn't I go for my pet grooming lessons.

Arghhhhhhh. She doesn't understand.

I have driving lessons from 12:45 to 4:15.

Then by the time I go back to my pet grooming school, it would be 5:30 already.

Then 5:30 to 8:00, 2 and a half hours, can't learn anything one. =.=

Plus, my teacher has an off day, so who is there to teach me!? Zzz~

She can't let me handle my stuffs myself :( Idk why.

I'm 19 this year already! Although its not that old, but at least I'm not like my sister!

Oh last Sunday we went to celebrate Guoyi's birthday at West Coast Park!

Its supposed to be this Sunday but I think most of the people aren't free.

& There's something wrong with facebook.

I can't seem to upload their photos.
There's an error from Facebook saying that there's a problem with the image file.

Arghhhhhhh. :(

I'm feeling quite stressed. Lol. Help x.x

& I'm quite sickkkkkkkkkk. Feverish, a lot of coughing and like sore throat or something.

A lot of phlegm too~!

Okay, I'm gonna go sleep now.

I'm not getting enough sleep everyday. Argh.

Okay goodnight peepos. Ciaoz~

2011-03-09T00:14:00.002+08:00

Omg so lazy to post!

I'm turning into a pig. Hehe. :P

Anyway ever since that nails thing, I kinda forgot how my life was like.

Its like.. More clubbing, drinking and oh yeah!

My cousin from America, yes he's an american and no he's not blonde, came to singapore with his mum!

His dad's Spanish(HOW COOOLLLLLLLLLL!!!) & his mum's Malaysian but he's born in America..

Like totally different. LIKE ROJAK. :x

Haahahhahahah. Anyway.

Brought him around, wanted to bring him to clubbing but he didn't wanna go cause he's not 18 yet. Made him eat durians(MUAHAHAH. But he liked it!) & try bubble tea!

Met a lot of new friends via clubbing. Got closer to some of them! Yay. Lol.

Gym sessions with the guys, rot at home, MAHJONG SESSION, a lot of talking to people online.

Like clubbing friends, Prince's groomer(Whatthefuck, I know.) and some really weird strangers that I don't even know why they're in my facebook friends list. Hahaahha.

2 months of freedom given to us by the school isn't really helping me.

I've been sleeping late, waking up late and etc.

REALLY TURNING INTO A PIG. LOL. :P

Anyway, celebrated ah gong's 84th birthday!

Like omg, he's so old alr sia. He say he wanna live to 90!

Anddddddddd under him and ah ma in the family tree, there are 100++ of them!!

Ohmaigawdzxc. Sho mani peepozxc.

Yup thats my life for now. LOL.

A lot of outings with family and friends and club!

Kk tatas!

2011-02-28T02:59:00.002+08:00

HIHI!

Its been quite a while since I've last blogged!

Finally, everything is over! :D

GMAPS Exam, AIGD project, NO MORE. YAY.

And now its partying all the way.

Went to PH last night with a lot of people!
Met new people, made new friends, got high and drunk, dance and dance and dance! :D

Woke up at 3, slacked at home the whole evening and then went to do manicure with Shirley.

YAY MY NAILS ARE SO PWEETIIE NOW!!

Kay just updating this for the sake of killing boredom.

I guess the next 2 months of holidays will be only:

1) Work!

2) GYM!

3) LEARN DRIVINGGGG.

4) Clubbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb! Yay.

Like a bit no life ah. But no choice. LOL..

Kk ciaoz! ^^

2011-02-24T23:46:00.002+08:00

This is so depressing.

Whenever I reach home, my house is always empty.

Gives me a feeling that I'm living alone. Argh.

On one hand...

Although I have many friends who are close to my heart,

somehow I feel a little lonely and empty.

Maybe its because I don't have a boyfriend.

A person who would be worried for me if I stay in school till so late.

A person who would ask me to be more careful when I go home alone at this time.

A person who would be worried that whenever I walk past the rubbish dump downstairs my house, I would freak out if I see any cockroaches.

A person who would even fetch me home.

A person to sit beside me on the bus so that I can rest on his shoulders.

A person who would reassure me when we walk past the rubbish dump together.

A person who could give me a real hug when I tweeted "Maybe a hug right now would cheer me up a little right now."

I think I need to be more independent.

All these can't be true. This guy is too perfect. No one would have so much time in the world.

Shit....

On the other hand...

Time is precious now.

I've got 14 hours to my exam.

Of that 14hours, 8 to sleep, 1 hour to travel to school, 1 hour to bathe and prepare to go to school.

I'm left with 4 hours to study.

After exam, I would have to stay back to do Artificial Intelligence Game Development project again.

Shortform, AIGD.

Arghhhhhh I'm feeling so stresssssssssssed.

Can't understand SHIT about Game Maths and Physics.

Shortform, GMAPS.

GODDAMNCHU GMAPS.

AND.

GODDAMNDAMNDAMNDAMNDAMNCHU AIGD.

I hate programming to the fucking max max max max max max max!

2011-02-22T10:20:00.004+08:00

I don't know why this is happening in my life right now.

I'm noticing so many people around me treating me so nicely!

I have friends who bring me to clubs to dance and release emotions and after that,

Walk me back home no matter how far, how tired they are, just to make sure I'm safe.

I have friends who waits with me for my bus at like 9pm +, even when they have something else and they are heading for different directions.

I have friends who help me resolve very important problems and doesn't ask for anything in return.

I have friends who will go clubbing with me and not tell me that they are tired or anything that sort.

I have a friend who goes all the way to Jurong/Clementi just to buy Macaroons and Koi for me :D
I have friends who keep me company during Valentine's Day, just to make sure I don't feel sad/lonely(I think? Or to keep themselves company? LOLOL).

I have friends who are constantly encouraging me to move on and never look back into the past.

I have friends who are very understanding and never judge me for my pasts :)

I have friends who goes out with me once in a while, just to see me. Even if its for a while.

I have friends who are very willing to help me in my studies.

I have friends whom I was not close to at first, but after hanging out with them several times, I seemed to have bonded with their clique.

I have friends who make me happy and laugh till I have abs-ache the next day.

I am deeply touched. :')

These are the kind of friends I know I will always have.

Secondary School friends:

Shie Boon

Wei Peng

Fanny

Guoyi

Munyee

I know the rest have drifted away from us, but they're still my friends :)

Poly friends:

Tricia

Larry

Sophia

Midzi

After quite a while, I bonded with them too:

Jonathan

Nicholas

Ziyi

Chen Yong

Kean

Charlton

The group of friends I meet once in a while:

Jacky & your friends.

I know I'm not really close to them but they're still my friends, aye? :)

And these are the friends who joined after a period of time:
Rowena

Jason

Jayde

Jasmine

Jun Zhi

Frazer

DYLAN TIAN WEI JIA

Thank God for all these friends, and bless them.

2011-02-19T15:40:00.002+08:00

Bloody hell.

I'm really freaked out by this random ang moh guy who tried to dance with me.

Ok no, he DANCED with me, (or more like force me to dance with him) and then he tried to touch me.

Okay most people will go like 'You deserve it. You should know that clubs are like that.'

But hey, why don't you try it yourself and tell me how you feel?
I go there not to hook up with guys and not to get hooked up also. I go there to dance and enjoy the music.

That's the reason why I went there with friends.

This is the 4th time I'm clubbing and this is already happening to me. :S

I was telling Wilson, (cause he was right beside me) to help me.

Like to pull me away or something.

I TOLD HIM LIKE TWICE? And he just continued to dance LOL.

Finally when I told Peng, he gave me his hand and I took it.

Then I went to stand beside him and the ang moh guy walked away.

Ahhhhhhh fuckerrrrrrr.

Thanks Peng. You really saved my life(and body) ahahahahahah.

2011-02-14T23:53:00.002+08:00

Okay so like, on Friday I still went to club with Jason, Peng & his friends.
Went to Zirca again. And Zirca ended early, 4am, so we went over to Rebel and stayed till 5am.
They ate breakfast at Macs and then we cabbed home.
On Saturday, I went out with Jacky & Co.
Pool-ed and then Basketball. Left early to meet guoyi & co at guoyi's friend's house.
Stayed till like 10.30pm, then impromptu clubbing again at PowerHouse.
So chionged home to bathe and change.
Took the last train to Outram and then realised that there were no trains to habourfront already :(
We had no choice but to take a cab.
Reached PH, full of people. The queue was damn long.
So we went to Dragonfly, get their chops and then re-enter to Powerhouse.
But we checked out Dragonfly first. Quite cool but it seemed like no one was dancing lol.
Went to PH and it was damn full of people. Everyone was squeezing.
I could feel guys' sweaty backs. Eeeeew :S
Finally when we had some little space and we were starting to get into dancing,
Then got more people come and it was extra full again -.-
I was forced into one of the corners at the bar. LOLOLOL.
But me and Peng weren't high enough to dance :/
We had a Vodka shot At Dragonfly before going to PH but it wasn't high enough for us.
So we ordered a jug of Vodka cranberry. And it was gone in less than 3minutes? LOL.
And it still didn't get us high. Then Jason had to leave halfway. At 3am.
So left me and peng. And we bought like 1 vodka shot and 1 whiskey shot.
We drank the Vodka shot first, then whiskey, like almost immediately after the Vodka.
The whiskey was so horrible. LOL.
It got us high already but then like 30minutes later, the music ended :(
So we cabbed at 5am and then Peng waited for the first train home as usual at 6am.
Lol I feel bad. Everytime he have to cab me back home and then wait for the first train home. :/

Sunday I stayed at home the whole day and then played Audi.
Did my CMSK Resume editing.
Then today, went to school. So shag. :/ Tired.
Was in my black dress and heels. And Tricia keeps saying that I look good without braces. :D
And then stayed till 4 for SWEN lecture, but in the end we decided to go home -.-
So I went home, still had some time before I have to leave house.
Had no other choice but to sleep for a bit.
Woke up, left the house and then went to Bugis to buy my screen protector.
After that I headed over to Vivo to meet up with Frazer first,
Then Peng came along. Very long after that, Jason came.
But we were lucky enough to catch the movie in time.
We watched the show - No Strings Attached. :)
Frazer was so lucky, the person tearing the tickets didn't check our ICs.
He's only 14 year old omfg. -.- LOL.
After the movie, Frazer left to send a girl home (hohohoho!) and we checked out PowerHouse.
Thanks to Jason's idea! THAT CLUBBER SIAO GUY.
But when we were outside PH, it wasn't opened yet I guess. -.-
So we walked back to vivo and tried to find a place to have a nice dinner.
But it was closed everywhere! So we had no choice but to order pizza and send it to my house,
Which was the nearest amongst the all of us :P
Frazer called and wanted to join us again.

Then we ate the pizzas and they went home alr :)
AND YAY I GOT FLOWER ALSO!!!!! ^^
Thanks Peng!!!

And btw, happy valentine's day to all :)
To you: I haven't forgotten this date. Happy Valentine's.

2011-02-11T20:04:00.002+08:00

Its been 5 days since I've last blogged.

Monday - School. Nothing interesting.

Tuesday - 6 hours of AI became gaming session again.

Wednesday - Impromptu Swensen dinner with clique.

Thursday - Supposed to be classmate's clique gathering for CNY at my house then followed by steamboat. But a lot more classmates came along. Sort of a mini class outing. Midzi, Larry & Tricia left halfway cause they need to go home. The rest stayed. The steamboat place is so cool. There's a KTV right beside it and they were playing songs. There were even 2 screens and we could sing along to it. 1 stone kill 2 birds :D After steamboat, they went to my house, played poker, played with my dog, then we decided to play mahjong too. Since there were too many people for mahjong, the rest sang karaoke on my tv lol. Me, Jonathan, Nicholas and Chen Yong played mahjong till like 1am++. They all won once each, I won the rest. Ahahah. Won 10 bucks. Then they cabbed home. The rest left halfway at about 12am. It was a fun night :D

Friday - Removed my braces in the early morning. I feel weird without it. AND I LOOK WEIRD WITHOUT IT. And in the night, didn't go to zirca due to some problems. Stayed home and cried. Don't wanna talk about it. Kkthxbai. I'm so going to emo.

2011-02-06T01:28:00.002+08:00

Yay! Happy New Year Everyone :D

Hehehe.

This year's new year sucks!

Cause I'm sick! LOL.

Other than that, its awesome :)

Alrighty. I've updated all the way till Tuesday and now I shall continue on Wednesday.

On Wednesday, my dad, sis, grandma and me went over to my cousin's place to have a "reunion lunch" although we had our reunion dinner last monday already.

Somehow I forgot to write that in the previous post lol.

After that, we went to pick my mum up from home and then we went off to Malaysia with one of my cousin.

But when we reached there we found out that his passport has expired.

So my dad had to drive him all the way home to get his new passport again.

It was 8 plus when we finally reached malaysia.

Then we had dinner, played with fireworks, fight with cousins(as usual. argh).

Played mahjong, gambled, etc.

Until about 2plus? And we went back to singapore.

Dropped off my cousin at his house and then back home.

But my mum wanted to visit the temple near my house. So we went there.

And we saw celebrities.

There was Fann Wong, Christopher Lee, Patricia Mok, Chen Han Wei, Shi Xin Hui ( The jue dui superstar female winner) and 1 more new celebrity. Can't remember her name.

My mum even went to shake Fann Wong's hands and said 'Zao shen gui zi'. LOL.

We reached home at about 4 plus and everyone just went to sleep.

We were dead tired lol.

The next day, we went to malaysia again.

And this time we came back at 1plus. LOL.

Tuesday, house visiting for a while and then I went to meet Peng, Wilson, Jason & his friends.

We were supposed to go to maska but when we reached there, it was closed........ -.-

Sooo. We walked to Boat Quay. Another pub.

And we drank. And Peng got drunk LOL.

Jason's friends were also drunk. LOL.

It was a funny scene. Peng was laughing at almost everything.

Even at trees. -.- LOL. I reached home at 6+am in the morning.

And this morning when I woke up I realised I injured my left arm. :/

Slacked at home the whole day and tried to study for SWEN's test on Monday.

But I gave up halfway. -.- Shall continue tomorrow.

Okay ciaoz.

2011-02-02T03:21:00.002+08:00

Its been super long since I've last blogged. LOL.

TOO LAZY!

Nothing much to say about school..

GMAPS and SWEN's DONE!
Friday I went to Zirca with Peng, Junzhi, Boon, Rowena and Wilson.

Before that I went to AMK Hub to shop with my mum and sis.

My mum bought me a ring and a pair of earrings which costs 1 over k..

The original price of the earrings was like.. 1.6k? LOL.

Then we bought Rowena's present, bought new heels.

Met up with Peng & Junzhi and Plaza Sing.

Ate at Cafe Cartel. First time eating there.

Huge portion. Couldn't finish it lol.

Then we headed over to Cathay and caught the movie - The Green Hornet.

LOL It was a funny show. Comedy. And its nice.

And then we headed over to Plaza Sing to buy liquor.

Bought Jack Daniel's Whiskey. And Vodka.

The Vodka isn't the normal one I guess.

Its in this bright blue slim bottle. And it tastes HORRIBLE.

Bought cups and mixers as well.

After that we went to Clarke Quay to meet up with Wilson, Rowena and Boon.

Queued to go into Zirca, paid, received chop, and we went to find a place to sit down to drink.

We can't enter into Zirca with the liquor anyway.

We played truth or dare (AGAIN LOL) using a bottle.

After a while we switched to: the one who's being pointed at will have to take a shot.

Me and Peng got pwned by the bottle the first few rounds -.-

But after that it was okay. Lol. And I admit. I really drank a lot till I Was drunk -.-

Then we went back to Zirca. I was still feeling fine, just high.

And we danceddd. First time I danced in public. LOLLL.

But it didn't really matter cause it was dark.

THEN ROWENA ASK ME TO GO UP TO THE PLATFORM.

The one with the enclosed bars. LOL.

And then she said that a lot of people are looking at us -.-

After that. I can't remember what happened.

All I know was that I vomited a lot.

I think I just k.o-ed. When I "woke up", I was at the bridge where we celebrate countdown.

And then Junzhi, Peng and Wilson cabbed home.

Peng & Wilson sent me all the way to my doorstep, so nice.

Aaaaaand I just "died" on my bed. LOL.

On saturday when I woke up, I think I just played game the entire day or something.

On Sunday I went for my facial appointment and went home to play game already. I think.

Monday, school. SWEN Presentation at 930. -.-

Then we were supposed to study for AIGD test.

But we went for lunch first, then went to print SWEN's documents.

But the stupid printing shop's computer wasn't compatible with our document's version =.=

And there was a little fight.

Then we really had no choice but to buy paper and print it in labs.

So we went into a lab with no teacher.

Tried to print, but failed. So had to reprint.

While waiting for tricia to buy paper again, me and larry turned on the PCs and studied for AIGD.

But I was so tired that I fell asleep -.- AHAHAHA.

Woke up 15mins later and realised that the test was gonna be in 40mins.

And more than half of what I'm supposed to study, WASN'T IN MY MIND.

So I chiong-ed for it.

In the end, the paper was easy. Was able to answer everything.

Except for 2 questions. -.-

On Tuesday, I went to meet GY&MY and the rest.

There were 9 of us.

Me, Guoyi, Munyee, Weisheng, Heng Lun, Daryl, Dave, Wilson and Dean.

It was a nice get together session + munyee's birthday celebration. :)
Went to a pub called Timbre. the atmosphere there was nice and so was the music.

Had pizzas, chicken wings, cocktails, beers and card games.

I'VE LEARNT 2 NEW GAMES.

1 called Bridge and the other one called RETARD. LOL.

We left at about 11pm and we walked to Raffles Place's MRT Station.

We stopped and took photos at the colourful bridge near Fullerton Hotel. :D

It was a nice night.

2011-01-25T23:30:00.002+08:00

Alrighty! Its been quite a long time since I've updated. LOL.

Uhmm..

Okay I shall start with Saturday.

I went to meet jacky&co with my sister.

Went to Escape. LOL. Got wet.. -.- but at least it was fun.

Although I've got onto that roller coaster for like 100000000 times. -.-

Then uh.. We went to play bball back at bedok.

Had bubble tea :D Yay. Then play until 10 and cabbed home.

Andddddd. Jacky almost worried me to hell. -.-

Okay then. Sunday. Went to malaysia to buy CNY stuffs.

Nothing much. Came back at 10+, then slept after I bathed and all.

Monday and Tuesday, school as usual, nothing much.

Tuesday's 6 hours of AI became mapling session again. LOL.

Level 81 le. I know I become slow le. But my exp really stuck ah.

Go everywhere also train damn slow. Go high level places keep dying :(

And I have a lot of assignments dued soooon.

GMAPS assignment this Friday 5pm.

SWEN almost every alternate week got something to pass up :\

AIGD is worse. Don't even know what's going on. -.-

Cny's coming. I'm gonna get fatter.. :'(

2011-01-21T19:25:00.002+08:00

Hello hello :D

I'm so bored na0x.

Thinking of changing my blog's url.

But I've been using this url for like 6 years already?

Yeah haha although my archives doesn't prove it.

Cause I have no idea why when I changed to a certain blogskin in 2008,

They deleted my previous posts -.-

I've changed my tumblr's one already :)

Changed it into my favourite anime heroine's name. LOL.

I know its random but her name was what I thought of when I first felt that I wanted to change urls.

But for this blog. I don't know if I should change.

Anyway I cut my hair today already.

Stupid sia the hairdresser. -_-

When I went there, he was late.

And he didn't do his work properly; my hair wasn't fully dried, the colour of my hair is uneven and my fringe isn't done properly as well. Zzz.

And now my hair is 1/3 of its original length.

LIKE SO SHORT! Just like my height. LOLOLOLOL.

But when I reached home my sister said it was nice. O_O

Oh and I'm level 78 liao :D

Lazy to train already =.= Now hunting for items.

+ Now got eventttttt. Got maple items! So must hunt for them.

Cause I low dex, a lot of items cannot wear :(

So yeah :( :( :(

Okay ciaoz. I'm just wasting some time here while waiting for my plane to reach Kerning. LOL.

2011-01-21T00:55:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so fucking down zzzzz.

After what Rowena told me. Arghhhhhhhhh omggggg. FMLLL.

I've been drowning myself into games for the past 1 month just to numb myself from the pain.

And now.. The effect's going off and I'm starting to feel all sorts of pain.

Everywhere I go, I feel down.

Whenever my mind is left on its own for even 1 freaking second, I'll recall some memories.

And I'll feel down. Its really tearing me up inside.

Oh and I really hate bus rides alone. It really gives me so much time on my own that I'll start to think about.. stuffs.

I'm still not used to taking buses alone.

I'm still not used to going home alone.

I'm still not used to being alone after school at home till like 10pm.

I still cry on my way to school and back home.

I still feel something when I see you.

I still remember our promises.

I still eat Chicken Abalone Instant noodles with cheese. But it wasn't because I was hungry.

And sometimes I still look out of my window at that particular bus stop.

That place which was filled with so much memories.. once.

But it would never happen again I guess.

I need some drama in my life.

I need to sing.

I need to get drunk.

And most importantly, I need to forget you.

2011-01-18T23:54:00.003+08:00

Just 5 more minutes to Prince's birthday :D

I bought him a doggy T-shirt and a new toyyyyyyyyy(:

Hahah. HAPPY 1 YEAR OLD MY BABY BOY :D (L)(L)(L)

2011-01-16T19:07:00.002+08:00

Hi peepos! :D
I'm gonna leave house soon.

Gonna go shopping with my parents!
Yay! Haha. And I'm level 71 naoz. :D

And I realised.. Playing games is good way to numb yourself from everything!(:

Okay ciaozzzzzz!

Gonna come back and chiongz CMSK for tomorrow!

2011-01-13T09:08:00.001+08:00

I wish you were here.

2011-01-12T13:53:00.001+08:00

Hello I'm in SWEN lab naoz.
Waiting for Tan Bing to come.
Haven't been updating ma blog recently.
Cause I've been mapling.
Started mapling last week. LOL.
Last wednesday I think.
And today's also wednesday.
I'm lvl 60 nao. LOL. Playing dual blade in Delphinus.
Got influenced by Nicholas, Jonathan and Tricia to play.
Haha.
Eh guys I put nuffnangs advertisements on this blog and on my tumblr blog under the 'Click here'.
HELP ME PRESS OKAY.
Help me earn money LOL. 1 person click I think get $0.20 or something.
But 1 I.P address 1 time only luh.
And must wait until got advertisements first lol.
Okay teacher's here. Ciaozzzzzzzzzzz. :D

2011-01-04T22:38:00.002+08:00

Okeh. I want to change myself liao.

I don't want to look pretty only when I'm with the one I like.

I want to look pretty every day :D

So I'm gonna be like my sister. Go where also put makeup.

And I'm gonna tryyy and wear long pants again.

Cause I realised, if I keep wearing shorts/skirts/dresses,

I'll never get used to wearing jeans anymore and I think its a bad thing.

There are certain limitations to how I can mix and match my shirt with shorts also.

So yup :D !

Whoa today I went to school. Like finally.

LOL. I skipped school yesterday and went for today's lecture.

Ended at 11++. So early. But the rest of the weeks not so early already. :(

Cause next week got 2 assignments to hand in le. Omg.

&&&&&&&&&, I'm so damn tired.

I was playing audition until 6+, then I was so bored.

I went to play with my dog on the sofa till I fell asleep.

I woke up at 8+ and I feel soooooooo darnnn weak!

My dad was so cute. He came home while I was sleeping and he thought I was acting sleeping.

LOL. Then he peeped at me while I was sleeping.

And then he didn't dare to wake me up. HAHAHA.

School tomorrow. :(

Must. Get. Used. To. School. Life!

2011-01-03T22:53:00.002+08:00

Its been like 4 days since I've blogged. LOL.

Countdown was like fucking fun I swear!

Afternoon I went to meet Jacky to take back my thumbdrive.

But then my phone was like dying.

So I rushed home to charge my phone first LOL.

But charge until like 56% then I left house le.

Went to meet Peng & Frazer & Wilson & Jason @ Clarke Quay.

But Boon & Rowena reaching CQ already so they came to meet us first.

When we still waiting for Boon & Rowena,

Dylan called then he also reaching. So we waited for him also.

And then we wanted to go eat Bak Kut Teh one.

But sold out le. So we went to eat Subway lol.

After that we headed to the center part of CQ where a stage was being set up with emcees and shows going on.

There was loud music and loads of people and basically they were supposed to entertain us till like 12am.

After we countdown-ed together, we headed to play snow spray at the bridge where we would do the same thing for every year's countdown.

I met my sister, joey and jervin there.

Baaaaaaaskettttt. I was the first one they were aiming at.

Some got into my eyes and etc :( My makeup was like smudged. D:

But its okay, a lot of fun. I was sprayed everywhere.

MY SISTER EVEN PULLED MY SHIRT, AND SPRAYED THE FOAM INTO IT -.-

I was soaking wet after that LOL. Poor me!

& Frazer was also damn bastard.

He kept pointing upwards randomly and make some shocked expressions.

Then people will also look upwards towards where he was pointing.

And we will laugh.

He also shouted something like "LOOK! SPIDERMAN!" lol.

While walking I also did that to some of the passerbys.

And after they walked past me I turned behind to look at them.

They also turned behind to look at where I was pointing.

I laughhhhhhhed like hell man LOL.

After all those, we walked to Maska, a bar somewhere at cityhall.

We had Vodka peach cause Tequila was out of stock :(

We played truth or dare but since everyone was so high, everyone picked dare.

Soon the whole game was 'dare only' LOL.

And we did stupid stuffs okay. Like (name) grind/kiss/pole dance (name) .

LOL it was damn fun. And there was a karaoke set too.

So its like you singing for the entire pub to listen to. LOL.

After that we changed it to 'truth only'. Lmao. There were a lot of secrets unfolded.

But what happens in Maska stays in Maska. No one is supposed to say anything out.

After a while me and Rowena wanted to go to the toilet.

So we went and after we exited the toilet, we saw Boon & I think is Wilson.

And 1 more white shirt guy.

I walked past the white shirt guy and he took his hand out and wanted to shake my hand.

So I shook his hand and he said 'Happy New Year'. I said 'You too'.

Then he said 'You're awesome' then I'm like WTF? Stunned. Then I replied 'Thanks' & walked away. AHAHA WTFFFFFFFF.

After that we all went home I guess. Cause most of them was like high and tired.

Only me & Peng wanted to go play pool. :(

But its okay. NEXT YEAR LETS GO AGAIN :D

I went home at like 5+ then I k.o-ed on my bed.

I woke up at 11.30 to bathe and then I can't sleep le LOL.

So I comp-ed whole day.

Sunday also comp-ed whole day but then I went shopping with my parents in the night.

Monday I skipped school LMAO.

I woke up at 2pm LOL. And I received like 10 missed called from Larry & Tricia HAHAHA WTF.

My timetable seriously sucks this term.

All classes starts at 9.

Monday end at 6, Tuesday 1, Wednesday 5 & Thursday 4. :( !!!

Oh ya and I haven't do my GMAPS assignment lolololol.

GG-ED.

2010-12-30T19:35:00.003+08:00

Wednesday was damn fun with Jacky&Co, my sister and ys.

But in the end Jacky & Ys went home late x_x

I feel sooooo damn bad. I always make them go home late. :(

Wm was damn funny during pool LOL. Keep disturbing Jacky HAHA.

We played pool for daaaaaaaaaaaamn long LOL.

After that go bedok play bball.

Jacky mvp sia, so accurate. HAHAHA.

Then after that slacked downstair my house with my dog, Prince.

Take pictures, etc. Then after that go home le.

Today I went out with Larry & Tricia.

We watched Harry Potter @ Vivo, then after that go home le.

I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT TOMORROW.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHY HAHAHAA.

I've ALWAYS looked forward to countdowns.

(Y)(Y)(Y)(Y)~!

2010-12-28T20:47:00.003+08:00

Can live be more awesome than now?! Seriously!

But so sad, school's gonna start soon.

Yesterday slacked with Jacky & Ys. LOL. A lot of funny moments.

I'm so damn looking forward to tomorrow, Thursday and FRIDAY.

Woohooz.

FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

SO DAMN EXCITEDDDDDD.

2010-12-25T14:37:00.002+08:00

Sooo boringgggg :(

Waiting for a pig to wake up :P

Anywayzzzz.

My sister just told me Bitch doesn't wanna come out to apologise.

Is asking for one simple apology too much?

So much for being "better" than me. Lol.

She keeps saying she's better than me in many ways and blah.

I can also say I'm better than her in many ways.

Empty vessels make the most noise (:

Stare a bit only wanna kpkb. Make such a big fuss of it.

Who's more ah lian?

Ironic sia.

Aiya I also cannot be bothered man.

I don't even wanna think about her.

It makes me lose my appetite.

I still wanna eat my favourite food while thinking about happy stuffs. (: !

2010-12-24T19:48:00.002+08:00

Why is weilin so pathetic LOL.

I don't really care if she sees this.

She mistook my friend on formspring for being a girl. LOL.

And because she was mean to me,

So many of my friends were also angry about it.

I didn't even do anything to her.

LOL. Oh well let's just wait till the day we're about to meet.

And let's just hope nothing happens ;)

Anyway. I'm sick and tired of people trying to interfere.

I'm not saying no one can.

But all I want justice.

I didn't do any single shit to her.

And she's being mean to me.

And my sister.

If anything happens to her, I can't promise that its not my fault.

All I can say is.

Too bad, she messed with the wrong person (:

1 more thing.

I didn't start any of those problems, okay.

I didn't ask my friends to write mean stuffs to her.

They did it on their own account.

So to those people who don't know anything, kindly keep your comments to yourself.

In the first place if she kept her comments to herself, none of these shit would have happened.

If you ask me what I want, all I want is a sincere apology from her.

And theodore. For scolding my kor a "brainless fucktard" & "fuckface" (:

Tsk, ironic much!

But its okay. I still have my awesome friends around me all day.

I love them lots.

- Shirley

- Jacky

- Midzi

- Tricia

- Larry

- Jeremy

- Catherine

- Kor

- SB & Co (I haven't told them about it yet. I'll only tell them if they asked.)

- Dylan & his girlfriend

- Melissa & Ys (I haven't been talking to them muchhhhh :( )

I fucking love you guys okay. Stay in my life (L).

2010-12-22T14:15:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was funnnnn.

Went out with Guoyi, Rowena, Peng, Frazer and Wilson! :D

Yay hehehe.

I met up with GY & R first at shaw house, then we headed to some building to find a KTV.

Guoyi handed me some cookies she made by herself :D SO SWEET.

But when we reached there, we couldn't find the basement level LOL.

And then we tried to search for lifts & staircases.

WE WERE SO FUNNY.

We were actually reading the directory, then when we confirmed that it is at the basement level,

Automatically we headed 3 different directions. LOL.

Then the security guard saw us acting like fools and I guess he somewhat suspected us HAHA.

He came over and ask what are we looking for.

We said KTV @ Basement then he said that its not opened till 5. LMAO.

So we wasted our time walking such a looooooooong distance.

We tried to find another one using my iPhone's Google Map.

And since girls are so lousy at reading maps, we kinda look silly standing in the middle of the streets, trying to "decipher" which building is which. HAHAHA.

Then suddenly guoyi spotted the "Party World KTV" logo outside a building.

And she was there "THERE!!!!!!!!!!" I was like "WHERE?????????"

I was damn blur yesterday. I don't know why.

When we finally confirmed that the building inside got KTV at 3rd level, we went in.

We took the escalator up to 2nd floor. But then got no more escalator to 3rd floor?!?! LOL.

Then Rowena called the KTV and they said we have to take lift from 1st floor -_____- ""

HAHA. So we did. And then we got a room.

Because this is the first time I'm(Rowena too) going to Party world, cause I always go to kbox,

The controllers were different and there were 2 screens instead lol.

So I tried using the controllers.

I was pressing and pressing and pressing on the controller while looking at the right screen.

Then I was like "Eh? Like not working leh. How to use?"

Then GY&R was like "THERE!!!!!!!!!!" While pointing at the left screen.

I was like "WHERE WHERE WHERE?!?!?!" Still looking at the right screen.

After that I saw the left screen then they were laughing at me and I felt so stupid HAHAHA.

Shortly after, Frazer and Peng came over, followed by wilson.

We forced Frazer and Peng to sing!!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO LOL.

OH YA Party world is damn fun. They got provide cheering sounds from the controller.

ANDDD there are things around for you to cheer for your friends.

Like.. AIYA go then you will know. Kbox don't have one LOL.

After singing session, we went to makan @ Far East.

Me & Rowena wasn't hungry yet so we ate desserts instead.

HAD MANGO SAGO. MMMM, MA FAVOURITE~~~

The others had Wan Ton Mee.

After that we went to shoppppppppp!!!!

I bought earrings, heels, rings, and I even got 2 airbrushed tattoos :D

But hor I think they cheat money sia.

1 of them I put tribal heart shape on my arm.

The other one is a scorpion on my neck.

THE SCORPION ON MY NECK ONE FADING ALREADY. WTH?

Not even 12 hours after I put, it faded until like... -______-

OH ME AND ROWENA GOT THE SAME PAIR OF HEELS :D

I love it sooooooo much.

But its hard to match with some clothes. :(

After shopping everyone went home :D
Except peng I think. He went to Jurong Point to watch Tron. Alone. LOL WTH.

Ehhhhh I haven't watch harry potter sia. Who want watch with me?!?!?!

2010-12-21T11:43:00.001+08:00

Omg I don't know why, I'm acting like a kid who wants so much attention from everyone.

I hate myself >=(

2010-12-19T18:50:00.002+08:00

TSK TSK TSK.

I keep forgetting.

That I want to dedicate one post to 3 people.

Tricia, Larry & Jacky. ;)

Out of the 3 of them, I know both Larry & Tricia the longest.

But Jacky was the one who knew everything.

Everything as in the problems I had with Theodore.

Why? Why Jacky? Although I knew the other 2 longer?

Remember there was one post about my audition friends?

That they were younger and I can approach any one of them?

And they won't judge me like how other same-aged people would?

I'm not saying that Tricia and Larry are those kind of people.

But I have always had this problem of telling people problems,

And then fear that they would judge me based on my past,

Or what I'm doing, what I did or what I could have done.

I'm also not saying that Jacky wouldn't judge me.

But its cause I've been talking to him a lot about my relationship already.

There's bound to be some judgement somewhere, I know.

But its because of this phobia I have that I actually don't want to tell them.

Larry & Tricia, if you guys are reading this, I wanna tell you I'm sorry. :'(

One day while I was alone at home.

I began to think of things. (ARGH I hate it when I'm alone and I do such things!)

I was thinking about my relationship.

I posted something on my facebook about it.

And then suddenly, Tricia talked to me on msn.

She asked if I was alright. Because she saw my facebook stuffs.

I said I am. (Well I THOUGHT I was)

And that we nearly broke up twice or something like that.

Then I started to think about it.

From May till December. Every single thing.

And I broke down. Right there, in front of the computer.

I told her that I was crying and she apologised.

Tricia, I know you might think that its your fault for making me cry.

But let me tell you, its not.

You were asking out of concern but it was my own fault for digging into the past.

And it was because of that I was hurting myself. Mentally.

At the same time, I was sms-ing Jacky, and I also told him I was crying.

I was crying so damn badly that I didn't reply Jacky & Tricia anymore.

Jacky kept sms-ing me and asking me to reply him,

Because he was afraid I was doing something to hurt myself.

A while later, Larry talked to me on msn as well.

He too, saw my facebook and asked if I'm okay.

I didn't reply him.

I just kept crying and crying.

And I really really really, honestly, thinking of ways to kill myself.

SILLY ME. I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AT THAT POINT OF TIME.

I've always been someone who's able to keep to my words.

Meaning, if I say something, I'll do it.

I've promised LOTS of people that I won't do anything to hurt myself.

But at that point of time, I didn't have the courage to face anyone.

Even myself.

So I didn't think about that promise to so many people.

So how did I overcome that thought?

Jacky kept smsing me. Larry kept calling my phone.

AREN'T THEY IRRITATING?!

I wanna cry for a while also cannot.

Phone keep vibrating and vibrating and vibrating. HAIYO.

I got so fed up that I finally stopped crying. (Cause I can't cry in peace!!!!)

But guess what?

Its because of their concern for me, they actually saved my life.

My point in this post is not to tell everyone that they're irritating.

My point is. Even small things around you can actually stop you from doing something stupid.

Okay not funny. -.-

Actually when they keeeeeeep irritating me,

I thought about my promises to those people.

Every single sms and call they gave me, gave me a little more courage.

And as those courage built up, I stopped crying.

And this courage made me face everyone again.

This courage made me face the world again.

Once again, thank you, Jacky, Larry & Tricia. :D

2010-12-19T18:34:00.002+08:00

Bleah. I've been nua-ing at home for the whole day. Lol.

My parents still don't know about it. =.=

And they've been nagging me to play my ps3.

Cause if I don't, they would wanna move my tv out to replace it.

BUT ITS TOO AWESOME TO BE MOVED OUT. =(

But I also don't have anymore reasons to play my ps3.

I only touched it like 3 times? =.=

So maybe I should give it to them.

Anyway I have no damn idea why my body's so damn tired.

Like physically tired.

I'm also mentally tired but I guess I'm used to it already.

So no point complaining about it.

I've been sleeping at like 3am, 4am every night now :'(

And my phone bill is gonna burst again :x

Cause almost every night I call Melissa to conference with Jacky and Ys. x.x

Oh where's shaun? Haven't been talking to shaun for a while.

Oh yah.

Outing on tuesday! YAY!~ GONNA SING K. WOOHOO.

But I still wanna cut hair. But no one want go with me =.=

Sad case. Its okay. I must learn to be independent. :'(

And Thursday gonna go play pool!
LIKE FINALLY I GET TO PLAY POOL!!!!!!!!!

Ever since I told Theodore I won't ask him to play pool anymore,

I don't think I did.

Unless other people asked me to.

Even if they asked me, I would ask for Theodore's permission first.

Dang. Now that I think of it. Kinda stupid huh.

Christmas is coming.

I was supposed to celebrate with someone but now I guess there's no need to.

I never thought Christmas was a big event at all.

I thought even Valentine's Day is more important than Christmas.

But after going for that Christmas Party with J, M & Y,

I think Christmas is important.

So this year, I want to spend my Christmas meaningfully. :]

2010-12-18T12:17:00.001+08:00

完了.
我说过如果这次你再放手，
我不会再挽回这段感情了.
因为我受够了.
我也相信在我身旁的每一个朋友，
都希望我不要每个晚上躲在被子里哭.
甚至有些朋友很早就想我们分开.
因为他们知道我值得比你好的人.

所以请你记得，
这份感情是你自己要放手的，
而不是我们两个人都同意的.
放手的决定是来自于你一个人，
一点都不是mutual的.

还有，将来我会变得像什么样的人，
你都不能帮我决定，
只要我开心，我喜欢，
那不就够了吗？
所以你不能说什么"don't go back to your old self. With all the piercings, tattoos, hanging out with (some people) and smoking. "
好不好？
我知道每一个人也都不想我这样，
可是我想说的是，
如果那些东西真的能让我快乐，
如果我真的变成那个样，
请你们要相信我，我知道我自己要的是什么.
但是如果我没有变成那样，
你们要知道的是，
我没有变成那样是因为我自己，
而不是因为那是他要我做的.

2010-12-17T00:15:00.001+08:00

为什么你还是对我那么的冷淡？

我知道你看到这些了。。

可是你还是没有跟我谈。。

为什么？

2010-12-16T16:44:00.002+08:00

下两个礼拜，我们会更好吗？

你明明知道，我很需要你，很依赖你，

我也是很努力的把自己埋醉在看连戏剧，

因为我知道你很忙。。

可是你不可以一整天不跟我说话啊。。

我不知道你什么时候才有空，

所以你要自动的跟我说话。。

我真的觉得很没用，因为你根本都不需要我。。

但是我很需要你，你不是不知道的。

如果我们一直这样下去，

我不懂我能撑到什么时候。

你知道我不喜欢你一直跟你的朋友他们出去，

但是我也没有办法，那你不会对我好一点吗。。

你真的以为我们一整天不说话，我会好过一点吗？

我真的不要求多。。

我只希望你能够多关心我一点。一点就好。。

可是，我也知道你很忙，

但是那不可以是你的借口。

因为我自己也有很多的压力，

可是我还能抽出时间跟你说话啊。。

要你多关心我一点真的有那么难吗？

可能我自己不够独立。

一直要依靠别人吧。。

今天我才发觉，

其实你的生命中，

根本都不需要一个女朋友。。

2010-12-16T11:04:00.001+08:00

Shit. My eyes are so damn swollen that I don't even dare to leave my house.

2010-12-16T02:07:00.001+08:00

I really want to stop myself from crying at this time of the night, for every single night. I hate it but I can't help it. I really wished that I won't wake up once I've fallen asleep. Because I dont want to go through the same kind of pain every single night.... It even came a way of putting myself to sleep.. It's so bad that each time I'm left alone, I start to think about it and I can do nothing but cry..

And the only person whom I wanna be saved by, isn't here.. And won't be..

2010-12-15T22:37:00.002+08:00

Do I still mean anything to you?

We only spoke for 4 smses. Two from each of us.

I tried not to bother you as much as possible.

And you seem to forget about me already. (Seems like its working, huh?)

All the way from 11am to like 10.15pm we didn't talk to each other.

Its like I'm single again and I'm nothing more than a friend.

Maybe you don't need me anymore. :>

Anyway.. I couldn't take it anymore so I just made up something to talk to you about.

So.. I talked to you about mousehunt, asking a stupid question..

Cause I know if I start blabbering about our relationship again,

You won't like it, I won't like it and we'll fight again.

I really wish one day you will really understand what I want and what I need.

Thats all I wish for. Its kinda selfish.

But its really what I want for now.

Once you understood me, I have one more wish left.

Which is for you to be happy..

I really have something that I wanna tell you sooo soo soo damn much.

I really don't know what to do with it..

But nvm I'll just bear with it. Until saturday.

Thats if I'm not dead yet..

2010-12-14T11:50:00.001+08:00

I think I should get addicted to audition. Because sometimes even when I play it for 30 minutes to 1 hour, it makes me feel so much happier. So I can use audition to make my mind busy and happy when I'm supposed to be sad. Or I should watch dramas and download tons of them. Plus now its exams period. I don't wanna add anymore stress to him. But I doubt get any better during the 2 weeks break. Cause he'll still be doing school work. He has time for anything in the world except me :> and I'm fine with it(no I'm not)!

And it's because of audition that I know some awesome friends around me. Although they are like 12-14, they're fun to be with. Or maybe it's because of their age that they're innocent and naive which makes them less exposed to this ugly world. And they are most of the time cheerful. They are always there for me. I can look for anyone of them when I need someone to talk to. And I can tell them my problems without hiding my real feelings. It's much more difficult to tell someone of a same age because there will definitely be judgment somewhere but these kids don't. They accept me for who I am and what I'm going through. I really love them. I wish they could read what I wrote here about them.

As for drama shows, I'm watching an old drama, called 微笑pasta. It's only 17 episodes but it's good. It teaches a guy what to do in a relationship... Ah nevermind.

Anyway I have so many things to tell him. But I'll have to wait. I'll have to be strong and keep everything in control until he's done with exams. So for now.. I'll just keep everything inside and hope it doesn't kill me. :)

2010-12-12T13:00:00.003+08:00

Don't really have a lot to write nowadays.

Focus on exams bah.

Like what his mum said, maybe we should step back and be good friends first.

Then after that progress from there again.

I had an objective when I went to find you, even though it was like 12am and I have to travel.

It was to actually save our relationship.

But after that night, I've thought about everything you've told me.

And I made a decision. Which is. This would be the last time I'm gonna save this r/s.

If you ever suggest it again, I would let you go.

Not because I'm tired of this r/s or I don't love you anymore.

Its because it would be the best for us..

2010-12-10T18:03:00.004+08:00

Can study in school don't want.

Wanna study at ECP.

Fucking bunch of weirdos.

School is a place to study, ECP is a place to relax.

Now I really wonder if you all are really studying or relaxing.

Tsk.

I shouldn't even waste my time to think about all these.

Shouldn't even be my problem _l_

Everytime phone no battery no battery.

Know no battery still don't wanna bring charger out.

Go anywhere see socket only just plug la.

Know no battery still keep playing mousehunt.

I play mousehunt also because of you.

In the end you also never wait for me.

What kind of.........

NEVERMIND! FUCK MY LIFE.

2010-12-10T17:27:00.001+08:00

FML. Never sleep. Chiong assignment. Cranky. Still have to quarrel with boyf. Still have to cry. Get swollen eyes and get embarrassed.

2010-12-10T17:26:00.001+08:00

You're not the one who didn't sleep and you're not the one who was cranky. Then you still wanna be angry. You always ask me to understand you when you're angry and stuffs, I did what. I was cranky and I didn't sleep and you still wanna ask questions like 'why never do earlier?' as if I wanted it like that. The thing I needed most was your support back then, but all I get was you blaming me for not doing it earlier as if I deserved it.

So we fought.

After a while I smsed you and say I'm sorry.

And you? You don't know how to reply so you just don't reply lor.

Wth is that? And when I sms you again you tell me you just finished class.
But actually I found out you were still using your phone after I sms you. So I asked you why never reply.
Then it's only after I asked you that, then you told me you dunno what to reply so you didn't reply.

And to think I was happily thinking that you were busy having class that's why you didn't reply. Turned out? You dunno what to reply. Wth.

When I dunno what to reply I also never just don't reply you like that. I'll tell you I dunno what to say right?

To me it's lying. You lied and told me you didn't reply because you were having class. But actually you just don't know what to reply. What's worse is the fact that you don't know how to reply so you didn't reply.

Next time you dunno what to reply just say dunno wad to reply la. Don't have to lie to me and tell me it's because you've got class.

I really don't know what's wrong with you okay. Maybe you're really sick of me or you're beginning to hate me or what. If so, please don't drag this longer. It'll only hurt me more and make us suffer.

But I sincerely hope it won't happen.

And I'm still fucking angry. Plus thanks to this, my friends saw me crying. How embarrassing for me. L. O. L. _|_

2010-12-07T10:51:00.002+08:00

Please take care of yourself.

Every morning when I wake up, I'll be wondering what you're doing and such.

But maybe for you, you won't do the same for me..

But thats okay.

Cause I shouldn't be too demanding anymore..

And every time I think of the state we're in now,

I just feel so sad that I would start to tear.

This relationship(or rather, me) has caused you so many troubles which I don't mean to in the first place.

Maybe you're right.. You're better off without it..

I understand that you're facing a lot of stress.

Either from me or from school.

With your projects and exams going on,

You won't be able to handle extra stress from me.

That's why I'm giving you a break..

But after you're done, please come back to me..

These two weeks won't be easy for me at all..

But I'll be strong and wait till you're done.

I've also projects and exams to handle,

But I'll still stay strong..

I've promised you I won't bring you any troubles during this break..

But I won't know what's going to happen also.

If somehow during these two weeks you've fallen for another girl,

Please don't hesitate, and go ahead.

Your happiness is my priority.

But if nothing changes, I won't give up on this relationship so easily,

So I hope you won't too..

Good luck for your exams and jiayou for your studies..

Whenever you need me I'll just be a phone call away..

This post brought my eyes a lot of tears,

But those tears doesn't mean any of my love for you at all.

Because I don't want it to be like,

Everytime I cry, its because I love you.

I want my smiles to mean my love for you.

Right now we're not having any happy times at all,

But I believe if we hold on we'll make it there.

I strongly believe so.

It also doesn't mean I don't love you.

You should know I love you a lot a lot.

2010-12-06T01:32:00.003+08:00

You don't have to put up with my PMS nonsense this month.

Cause you won't even be here. :)

That's good for you. Concentrate on studying and good luck for your exams okay :)

For the next 2 weeks I have to learn(more like get used to) how to be independent.

I don't know what's gonna happen.

No one does.

We're already in this state.

I've always been saying I have to be independent.

But I still rely on you so much.

So much that I can't just.. Leave you alone for a while.

I've tried so many ways to keep myself busy.

But they don't last long.

At the end of the day, or even when I'm trying to keep myself busy,

I still think about you.

I still get worried.

And I still don't get back the expected responses from you..

When will you ever understand..................

I always cry whenever we fight.

Not because its your fault, but its because..

I looked back at the problem and blamed myself.

For being too sensitive, too easily jealous, too easily angry, too demanding and whatsoever..

There's one more thing I need to say..

I've been keeping it for a long time.

I think you've changed ever since I came back from australia.

Did something happen during that one week?
When you told me you got used to your single life during that one week,

Did you know how much it hurt me?

Because to me that just seemed like..

If I'm a big part of you & your life, it wouldn't have been this easy to switch back to single life..

Was it really about nick&wl saying that you can do better?(Apparently if I didn't remember wrongly, they were talking about picking a girlfriend?)

I'm actually kinda happy that you were actually angry at them and told them that they don't know me well, so they can't just speak like that.

I know its mean for me to feel happy that you're angry at your own friends..

Its kinda selfish too I guess..

But it just came naturally to me. I'm sorry for being sensitive..

I really didn't mean to bring you any kind of troubles but really, I guess they are just a part of me. Being sensitive, easily jealous and all. Its really very difficult for me to quit being like this because I'm naturally like that. But I also understand that its difficult for you as well, to handle such a difficult girl like me.. So please be more patient with me, will you? Like you, I've also thought about me not being the right one for you before, but I kept trying and trying. I know you have been trying as well and we're both tired.. But I also don't want us to just end like that. We have been getting so much better than the 3rd to 5th month, where we'd quarrel every single day. And it was always a bad one. We were screaming at each other and etc. Now we hardly even scream or raise our voices. We just fight silently.. I know its still quite bad but stay strong, and believe that everything would be alright. "Relationships last long not because they are fated to. Its because two people in the relationship made the choice not to just walk away but to keep fighting for it." So I'm begging you to stay strong, be positive and don't let go.........

I don't know when I'm gonna see you again.

But I just wanna say, I miss you hell loads, even though its been only 3 days ever since I last saw you.

& I love you.

2010-12-05T20:42:00.000+08:00

I shall just wait.....

And pray that I have the patience to.

2010-12-05T13:30:00.001+08:00

Dear baby,

Can you write me a book?

Please contain the following points in the content:

1) How to be your perfect girlfriend.

2) How to be your perfect girlfriend.

3) How to be your perfect girlfriend.

4) How to be your perfect girlfriend.

5) How to be your perfect girlfriend.

6) How to be your perfect girlfriend.

7) How to be your perfect girlfriend.

8) How to be your perfect girlfriend.

9) How to be your perfect girlfriend.

10) How to be your perfect girlfriend.

With love,

Your soon-to-be-perfect-girlfriend.

2010-12-04T13:02:00.002+08:00

I don't have anyone to talk to now.

I need someone to talk to.

I need someone to punch.

I need someone to fight with. Literally.

I need to fucking vent my anger.

I need to fucking cry.

2010-12-04T13:00:00.001+08:00

I'm just a fucking failure.

I don't wanna put on my rubber bands anymore.

No more checkups for me.

Fuck that scalp shit.

Just let me fucking die.

2010-12-04T12:46:00.003+08:00

Wake up already don't want talk to me.

Ok lor.

I'm sick of being the one saying good morning to you everyday.

Now its your turn.

And seriously you never seem to tell me anything anymore.

You used to tell me where you are(and exactly where), with who and doing what.

But now you just tell me some rough location like 'Pasir ris', 'clique', 'project'.

Wtf is wrong? Are you the one changing or me?

You don't even seem to care anymore.

When I told you I had suicidal thoughts and I'm crying. I didn't reply you.

You also never bothered to ask if I'm okay or not.

I still have to worry for you and sms you to ask if you're going home already or not.

You say you're tired.

I'm also tired okay.

You said you're selfish.

Yes you are definitely selfish.

Super selfish.

I've always wanted to say that to you.

But I didn't wanna hurt you.

Now you realised it yourself.

All I wanna do is just agree that you are.

I really hope you'll reflect on yourself.

2010-12-03T22:42:00.001+08:00

I'm having fucking loads of suicide thoughts right now.

Like really now.

Save me, someone out there.

2010-12-03T22:21:00.003+08:00

You just seem happier with your friends.

Maybe you are right.

That we're not made for each other.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Cause I thought we were.

2010-12-03T17:24:00.001+08:00

I was crying on my way home.

When I opened the door, I was still crying.

My sister saw and immediately rushed over to me and asked me what happened.

Just for that moment, she made me feel better.

2010-12-02T08:17:00.001+08:00

How deep is your love.